From Een To Enty.

Today's my birthday.

!

I woke up at 4h30 in the afternoon -- no, scratch that. I woke up at 9-something in the morning, went back to sleep -- woke up at 12 noon, went back to sleep. Then woke up around 3 I think, went back to sleep and finally woke up at 4h30 in the afternoon. I may have gone back to bed if my parents weren't going to call pretty soon.

I've got some facebook posts all saying "Happy Birthday!" which is nice. It's kind of them to say it, most of them I don't really know all that well. I few days I was creeping on facebook looking at others profiles; there was this one guy or girl who had over 1000 facebook friends, but only 30 - maybe 50 "happy birthday!" posts, I have less than half of 1000, so I don't know.

I've stayed in my room for the past week. Aside from one late night run to the store for food, I've stayed inside my student halls. Last night at around 3 in the morning I left my room to defrost a frozen pizza. Those are the only two times that I've left my room.

Some birthday celebration, huh.

My parents called, I liked talking to them. They said "happy birthday" and all that. It's not like I feel totally alone, it's not like I'm sitting at my door silently crying and wishing someone would knock on my door and ask me to hang out.
I am content.

I turn 20 today.

Hence from "een"(ninet. . een) to "enty" (tw. . enty).

2 decades, I've been alive for 2 decades.

What have I done in those 2 decades?

A lot and nothing at the same time. I've traveled the world, made some really great friends, laughed so hard my stomach hurt, learned about myself. I've been a pretty previledged kid. How have I done nothing too? I've never been kissed. I've never been on a date, as I got older my friendships faded away, I never put myself out there. All the typical things a kid, teen, college student does I have not done.

I've really learned a lot about myself, what I like and what i don't like. What is comfort to me and what isn't. How I think, learn, what best works for me. What I want to do when I. . . as I grow up.

It's a little after 7h30 in the evening. Saturday. The day most uni students would go out and party.
Not me, not today.

Am I just feeling sorry for myself? A little, yeah. Am i just fooling myself into thinking that I enjoy solitude? I didn't think I was, I don't really think I am.

Don't worry about me, life goes on.

This birthday isn't particularly eventful. Neither was my 19th, or my 18th, 17th, 16th, or 15th. I'm pretty sure I spent all those birthdays just with my family. No friends, no girlfriends, nobody else.

I don't remember my 14th, I know I didn't have a party, I know I had friends then, just at school. So maybe I got a few birthday wishes at school.

The weather is cold, damp and windy. I like the cold. I love the rain. The wind is welcome. Though I do admit it makes going anywhere a hassle.

Happy Birthday!

I don't need others to make this day special, this day doesn't have to be special. As long as I feel, alright, I'm okay.

This took a turn for the deep that is loneliness.

Is your birthday today? This week? This month? If it is I wish you a Happy Birthday!
If your birthday is next month then it's a little to early to wish you a 'happy birthday' isn't it?
Hopefully you're spending today with someone special (family, friends, whomever you enjoy the company of). if not, then you can think of me as your "birthday-buddy" (you don't have to if you don't want to).

I think that's all I want to say, for now at least.

To you, reader, I wish all the best for you, always, but especially on this day - my birthday.
mywimpychest mywimpychest
18-21, M
Jan 12, 2013