From Damsel In Distress to Dragon Defended Damsel

I'm someone who's supposedly put together pretty well, but I still tend to consider myself an "X" Factor sort of attractive woman- low-key-life-mate-in-the-wings. At a young age, I began embracing the role of the tomboy with friends of both sexes who wasn't the chick for which people pined and panted but rather the friend who was all the cool things that their crushes weren't- low-maintenance, funny, laid-back, accepting, fun-loving, athletic, accomplished, etc...

Over the years, I didn't even realize how accustomed I'd become to using this role to wall off prospective mates by assuming and then asserting we'd established platonic relationships (because I was assuming I couldn't be conventionally attractive to them)- my worst habit was hooking my friends up with each other to reinforce my position as a non-contender for all- how self-defeatist and insecure can one kid be?!

But, ostensibly, it has created a perfectly safe and lonely zone that may be maddening but can't be revoked by anyone but me.  Instead of waiting in the highest tower of the castle waiting for my champion to arrive, I've spent my time taming and then training the dragon to destroy all who penetrate our castlewalls. You see, if no one overtakes the dragon, my precious, prideful reputation may remain in tact as the doomed damsel - this is a much more attractive alternative than the possibility of facing my champion, who, after having slain my dragon, pats me on the back, tells me I'm the coolest friend on the planet, and leaves me alone in my castle without even a dragon for protection.

However, on some level, perhaps I've been waiting for one to turn around and realize he/she loves me- like a bratpack flick from the early eighties! It's time to revise my plot endings and identification with characters, I guess!

WOW! I'm just yammering- sorry...maybe someone else out there understands what I mean, or perhaps you're currently wishing you hadn't read this at all! OH WELL!
AthenaAdAbsurdum AthenaAdAbsurdum
26-30, F
4 Responses Apr 24, 2007

You're on the mark, Ward- this past weekend, my friend (and ex-boyfriend from way-back-when) was trying to explain to me that my intelligence and accomplishments are intimidating to guys (that I should wait until he's single. HA!). On the other hand, I can be very physical in daily life- I tend to be hands-on with certain friends more than others, but for a while I was very skittish and jumpy with everyone as I was riding out the waves of PTSD (after my abusive ex-husband, it was hard to equate touch with anything I could trust !). I don't go out and "meet" people much these days- my castle walls are work & athletic schedules right now! Thanks for the insight though!

I like the donkey.

so why not fall for the dragon?<br />
<br />
Oh - and be careful of that shrek up there - he's a nasty one!!! ;)

I LOVED this piece! You give a more creative version to " putting a brick wall around the heart"-- to which I can identify with, by the way. But for some reason I kept imagining SHREK coming to your rescue! lol.