Not To Be Anything Close To Fanatical...

...but sometimes things just aren't exactly what they seem.

People assume so much when it comes to their own lives and their own awarenesses. They think that their motives are straightforward, that their desires are always clear to themselves, that odd events are just coincidences, and that others around them are only what they seem.

I know otherwise.

People assume so much when it comes to the supernatural and paranormal. They think that their religion will protect them against all error, that those who profess a certain faith are especially protected, and that only surrender to its structures and authorities is a surety against evil temptation or subversion of their wills.

I know otherwise.

People assume so much about psychology and human behaviour. They think that chemical imbalances are the source of mental disease and addictions, that psychoses never have a reality behind them, that hallucinations are merely accidents of obsession and neurology, and that cosmic-seeming conflicts within the psyche are merely metaphorical of mundane processes.

And again.....I know otherwise.

The truth is not what any tradition, modern or ancient, makes it out to be for its own credit. Demons do exist, and they have influence around us and within us more than most of us will ever be aware. I have seen them, I have fought them and driven them out from possession of others, and I have fought their temptations targeting me since I was a child. In a manner of speaking, I fight them every day - they surround me as closely as they can get to try to hinder me from doing what I need to do. When I was younger, they tried to tempt me to do reckless things, to throw things away or destroy them, to maim myself or others, to end my own life as impulsively and irrevocably as possible. They wanted me out of the way.

They still do. And the thing they hate most is to meet me in open combat. They hide behind thoughts, under feelings, lurking to grab hold of emotions and ramp them up to their own purposes as violently and destructively as possible. In others, when they hold them, they make them resist everything I say, no matter how logical or true, twisting and wriggling against anything that will dislodge them, until words of power are spoken that drive them out, or I surge a wash of cleansing energy that burns them like the astral fire that it is. They hate the truth and love the lie, and they will even twist souls to express the most sanctimonious pieties as they war with me over their freedom. "Fair is foul and foul is fair"...where a possessing entity has gained entry and control, truth is the greatest enemy imaginable.

And so is love. The possessed personality often disclaims all need or wish for love or deep emotional connection, expressing instead a pull towards thoughts of darkness, silence, oblivion and utter nonexistence. It serves the demon's/s' purposes to remove from them all thought of actual joy in life, though concepts of duty and obligation - the more self-denying the better - tend to be exaggerated to a degree that socially-liberated individuals rightly find offensive. Sexual desires may be frozen or recklessly-amplified, depending on the demon in question and the particular assault in progress against the soul's integrity. The perception of self-worthlessness is an essential ingredient as well, and it may have been ingrained by years on end of familial and social conditioning. Demons have even been known to attempt perinatal infanticide, to stop a soul who threatens them from being born (at least one time around), and may be an unsuspected cause of freak accidents. Their attacks on a particular soul can be lifelong, and may even be the root cause of self-fragmenting or schizoid states.

This may sound medieval - but I assure you that medieval views and methods have nothing to do with it, apart from recognizing that "there are such things" and having accumulating names for them that are sometimes accurate. It is not Christianity per se that these entities fear or respect or can be evicted by, though sincere faith in and of itself does indeed have virtue when combined with personal integrity. Demons thrive on hypocrisy, and there is much of that to feed on in organized "righthand-path" religion, though any path which worships and invokes them outright is probably going to get (more or less) what it asks for.

Are there demons that are not evil and do not attempt to possess and/or cause harm to us? There are many apologists for demons these days, especially among those who claim to be reincarnated ones, but I would venture to say that any demon still in its original* form is definitely one that stands by a humanity-hating and destructive alignment. Otherwise it would logically have moved on by now to another life and chance to evolve itself - and at very least, it would not look the same should it change its alignment. Again, there are romantic and apologists for /differentness/, but the appearance of a demon is shaped by its nature and what it rules - its dominant theme, as it were - and no matter how it may disguise itself by glamour to be pleasing to the astral eye, its true aspect will show it to be corrupt, distorted and/or outright loathsome - the ruling demon of carnal lust, for example, beneath the seductive facade he affects, looks like the ultimate embodiment of all venereal diseases. That of perversion tends to appear as mesmerizingly attractive but with mismatched eyes and an appearance just subtly "off"...there is always a meaning to these things, and they can be analyzed symbolically much as one might analyze dreams or Jungian archetype, since the inward nature so directly manifests itself in outward appearance.

Now, of course, these beings of which I am speaking did not necessarily start out looking like that. Inasmuch as the appearance shows the inner theme/nature, the appearance of demons tends to reflect a distortion of a theme that has positive attributes as well. One may as well consider them the Hydes of abandoned Jekylls, since the root cause of their rift from wholeness boils down to an obsession with purity of essence, by which they arrogantly split themselves off from their own balance and thereby twisted into negative exaggerations of their former selves. Behind every demon is a valid theme so convinced of its own superiority that it has discarded internal balance as compromise. Lust is a selfish distortion of love; wrath is a self-righteous exaggeration of anger (which includes the constructive desire to redress things and make them right), and perversion is a twisted version of the drive for novelty and originality...and so forth. And yes, they believe it is their natural right to rule over humanity as superior beings, and they work hardest against those souls who pose the greatest threat to their covert machinations.

And dare I say again, these are more than just abstract struggles...

But I can see how one would think that I'm exaggerating and attributing too much to supernatural beings that are out to get me and stand in my way. It is natural in people to suspect the word of one who's in the minority when there are millions of people who have never knowingly seen nor sensed anything like demons - and I am not even using a formal religious paradigm as my cover for speaking so literally, which makes me even more suspicious to some. You can believe me delusional so long as you have no reason to think otherwise. That does not, however, change the nature of my experiences or make my knowledge of this plane of warfare go away.

So.....just throwing that out here, and I suppose I will respond to any comments or questions if/as they come.
ISingTheBodyAesthetic ISingTheBodyAesthetic
31-35, M
Jan 14, 2013