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Need Help

Sometimes loves hurts so bad. There was this girl who was very nice to me give me hugs, kisses an all the stuff; everybody, even me, thought something good was going to happen. And suddenly she turns into a stranger who looks me with indifference and hate. That was too much to me, I just cannot understand the reason of all of this. The worst thing is that I felt in love with her really bad, so know it feels like hell on Earth. I have tried everything to avoid her memory but everything brings back memories about her. I don’t know what to do, if you can give advice I will be deeply refreshed.
solracnauj solracnauj 19-21, M 7 Responses Dec 2, 2007

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You have to isolate the part of you that loves her and if you cannot destroy it, you must learn to bury it alive. You will lose part of yourself, but that's why they call falling in love "taking a chance." Love is dangerous business. I know because I gave away all the good in me, thinking that love was "worth it" as we are so often told by the lucky ones. It isn't.

I know all about trying to get rid of a memory wether that memory be a good one or a bad one , the magical word is "memory" it only exist in you . In your past it is she or he us not un your present ... If it's a happy memory it stops you from making new ones and if it's a bad memory the fear of reliving it also stops you from making new ones.... Every single person has them good or bad some of us know how to separate ourRlves from them and then there are " us" the ones that can't seem to live the today and move unto tommoriw because of them .... <br />
Well I had to I had to move on vdcsusd the memory mind was a bad one haunted me , I somewhat became obsessed with it ..... Once I realized this person is hApoy living their life day by day I don't even exist for them .... I decided I would live thinking only of today because I control today not yesterday not tommoriw TODAY! and one day at a time I found peace and joy and lost my fear of loving ... Of course occasionally that person makes sn unwanted appearance in my memory I quickly delete them with the thoughts of pain I lived because of them and they never did ! How fair is that??? So that day I concentrate on today and what I am blessed with ..... And it disappears ...<br />
I hope I helped ... I know that pain tooo well .....

I know how you must feel. To have a broken heart ca make you feel to lonely and hopeless. i think the thing to figure out is what the problem may have been. If she didn't have enough care or respect to let you know why, she's not worth it. Maybe really dive deep into yourself and think about how you were in the relationship. Be truthful to yourself. Be sure not to beat yourself up though, use it as a constructive thing to to to figure yourself out and not make the same mistakes again. Everyone deserves love and to be happy. Obviously, she wasn't the one to share that with you. Maybe it was even a blessing. Perhaps it will help you to understand ourself better and make personal improvements....or maybe you are lucky to not be with someone who didn't even have the decency to tell you why. All else I can say that I'm sure you have heard before is - this sadness will not last forever. Get out there and do something that makes you happy to be with yourself.....then......that one will come along when you are ready. Good luck.

kill the ***** but you have to do it good that immediately changes your memory of her but yo have to be clever about it

LOL...Creative thinking ...you made me laugh, thanks!!

I honestly cannot give you any advice because I am in the same, almost precisely the same, circumstance; the only thing I'll say is what people have been saying to me that has helped me some. That is you will find someone someday who'll make you happy - and you her.<br />
As for the memories part; honestly that's a damned hard problem... especially when many of those memories are still the happiest in your life (at least in mine). The only thing I can think of is to treasure those memories but try not to let them foster reminisces of her. I know it's hard, it's been really hard for me. But the most important thing is don't lose hope and I hope you feel better!

I honestly cannot give you any advice because I am in the same, almost precisely the same, circumstance; the only thing I'll say is what people have been saying to me that has helped me some. That is you will find someone someday who'll make you happy - and you her.<br />
As for the memories part; honestly that's a damned hard problem... especially when many of those memories are still the happiest in your life (at least in mine). The only thing I can think of is to treasure those memories but try not to let them foster reminisces of her. I know it's hard, it's been really hard for me. But the most important thing is don't lose hope and I hope you feel better!

I honestly cannot give you any advice because I am in the same, almost precisely the same, circumstance; the only thing I'll say is what people have been saying to me that has helped me some. That is you will find someone someday who'll make you happy - and you her.<br />
As for the memories part; honestly that's a damned hard problem... especially when many of those memories are still the happiest in your life (at least in mine). The only thing I can think of is to treasure those memories but try not to let them foster reminisces of her. I know it's hard, it's been really hard for me. But the most important thing is don't lose hope and I hope you feel better!