I Feel Sad And Lonely

I'm 20 years old. I feel like I should be having the best time of my life right now, but I'm not. I feel so lonely and worthless. Nobody wants to hang out with me. I always call people and everyone is "busy". I don't even know why this is happening to me Why me? Weekends are horrible for me. While everyone goes out to the movies, dancing, eating at restaurants, I just stay home and feel sad. I'm tired of people rejecting me. I know people don't hate me but I guess I was meant to be alone :(
I feel dead even though I'm alive
sadgirl20 sadgirl20 22-25, F 92 Responses Jun 2, 2010

Your Response


I lie in the same criteria. You are 20 I am 19.

But I love my seclusion its very enjoyable dear you should also enjoy it :).

I feel the same way. I have problems with connecting to other people. I don't think they really dont like me, but I guess it's difficult for them to talk to me when I'm shy and sending depressive signals. I want to be happy and have the energy to hang out with people, but I don't.

Hi I completely no how U feel in going through the exact same thing I have become realy low and depressed :( and know one wants to hang around with me

i too feel the same way. i have 3 wonderful kids ages 9 mths, 3 and 6. i am with their daddy. we are high schoo sweethearts. even though i am not single i feel like a loner. all he literaly does is work n hang out with his friends. when he is home all he does is eat n sleep. i will be lucky to have time with him if tat at all maybe 2 hrs of his awake time every other day. he never takes me out. he never helps me with the kids. im constantly exhausted. i have no friends. all the women in my family sucks cuz for watever reasons them girls are always jealous of me cuz im a very hard working mother. i think everyone esp a stay at home mother needs time away away from the house but i dont have tat. i woukdnt anything for my kids. i love being a mom but so wish i had some adult social life too. life is so beautiful and so unfair. :(

i have 2 children and i'm in the same boat with you their father is always out of the house with friends or working or going to the gym or w/e he can do to make sure he's never here. and even when he is here he doesn't help me out with anything. i even told him i felt like i live in nanny servant. maybe if you live near me we can kinda fix it a little and have our kids play together just to have a break from doing the 24/7 mom gig

I so wish that too. Everyone needs somebody and people look at me like im a saint cause i have it all. No. No one understands just cause theres a perfect picture family going on, theres more to a happy relationship than just a roof over your head. I must be crazy to even think to have another child in the future. I have been a stay at home mom since my first born was two. Its now five years later. LOL. whats your email.? we can email eachother and talk bout our lives and share stories.

Go back and read ( streets 718 ) again.

Hey if u need someone to talk to just friend me

i doubt i can really be much help, but i'm sitting here in the middle of the night reading all these stories and comments by people, and i've been chatting back and forth and have come to realize that a lot of times people just need someone to talk to; to listen to them. i like to think that i am a true loving heart in this insane universe. these things that seem so important right now, your friends and what they'll come to see that you are giving that way too much power. if you look deep inside yourself, at what you truly are, i think you will come to see that your own perception is the most accurate truth. most other people will tell you to just listen to them, but i say to you "listen to your own heart, for therein lies the truth". everyone goes through the same doubts and fears that you are now experiencing. it sounds stupid, but i can tell you from hard, bitter experience that listening to those who should know better will only lead you down the same foolish road that they took. you are smarter than that, you are bigger than that, and if you open yourself to divine guidance from within, you don't need anyone else to figure things out for you;you will come to see a deeper truth than they may ever know. believe in yourself. whether you know it or not, this is creation and every decision you make determines what happens in the universe. this is not religion, it's physics. do the best you can, sister, the entire universe is depending on it.

no one is meant to be alone. My friends are the same way, and I feel like I am the only one who really cares about being there for people. All I can tell you is that you are a beautiful person and that there is no purpose in life but what you make for yourself. I am here for you if you want to talk :)

I think that Suky58's advice is very good. I too spend all my days and weekends alone. I have gotten so used to it that it doesn't hurt as much. I think I need to try and volunteer for something or join a club. I have anxiety and social issues and it's not so easy. Good luck though babe, I bet you're a great girl.


You are 2 years older than me, and you describe so much that I feel, thank you for sharing. This is the first thing I have read on this site and I am feeling like I could be understood.. You made my night. Thank you so much...

i have the same age as you, and im leaving almost the same thing :x i don't have a lot people to hang out, buy it hurt anyways .. im pratically the second choice everysingle time.. and when i go out, i feel like im just being there, nothing else!
every night i think about that and i end up crying xx


go out meet new people! enjoy life!

those same people who r to busy for u r the same people that dont matter if u dont matter to them then they shouldnt matter to u. when u call these friends do u talk about depressing stuff alot? maybe u shouldnt do that if u do. and being someone that has a lot of friends the one thing i find the most annoying is when my friends call me constantly and talk about nothing but sad things. now i would never tell my friends i dont care actually i do care. i let them rant and all but u got to remember that in life u r born alone and u will die alone and if u dont have fun hanging out with urself how can anyone else enjoy u. i hope for u to find peace and happiness with in urself and i assure u u will be so happy that ur friends will notice and u wont have to worry about spending all ur days alone... also u might want to try finding new friends... ones who do understand and love u

I also feel the same. When I see back I see myself standing lonely. I cry daily. I don't know what to do and what not to do.

Me too, It's tiring and absolutely draining. I know the daily crying as well.

I know what you mean.. 20 years old and i already feel dead.. just waiting to get pregnant.. it be nice to have people who won't try to use you.. or a family who doesn't think you owe them everything.. cause their so ******* selfish..

u r not meant to be alone, cheer up, someone in this world is waiting for u,

I feel disconnected from people too. When I meet new people I have a hard time interacting with them because I don't know them and feel they may think of me as a burden to be around because I am socially awkward. It's even worse when I go on Facebook because I see how happy everyone else is. I'm only 16, so maybe its just teen angst I don't know for sure.

I feel the same about Facebook. It reminds me of how awful my life is. Just leave it, and don't sign in, you will be very glad of this decision. I stopped using it for 2 days, and I'm much happier. If I sign-in again, I will become angry and depressed again.

I have friends and usually I'm not alone, but I don't feel like I have a deep emotional connection with them. That really frustrates me because sometimes in my head I just feel like I'm going crazy, but I feel like I have to just smile and pretend to be ok. I'm not sure if I'm really depressed or just sad. I think I have social anxiety or something, because when I'm in a big group and someone suggests that we go do something, I immediately think that I'm probably not invited because no one really likes me. Which logically I know is not true, but those feelings persist in a lot of areas in my life. Especially on the romance front, I'm 21 but I've never had a boyfriend because when I go to bars, parties, or when I'm just hanging out with boys in general, I feel like no one would like me if I talked to them. So I don't talk. And when someone talks to me I just get so hung up on not seeming weird. it sucks to feel alone

I am also 20 and I am in the same situation as you. Some changes in my life (move outs etc) brought me in this situation. I had friends which left to study many KMs away, so I basically left myself. I study something this period, but I couldn't manage to find friends there. If I am lucky, I may chat with some classmates, but that's it, after I leave the class I am alone. I feel sad sometimes about my situation, and sometimes not. Maybe it is that I'd rather be alone, than having fake and stupid friends (which I had in the past). I found some enjoyable activites to do, in order to stop feeling like a dead walker and this is what works for me and gives me hope for the future. If you want to talk with me and share thoughts, you could send me a PM.

look, probably people with your age is way less mature than you and that´s why they are always busy doing things with people who shares their shallowness. My advice to you is: try to meet older people who appreciates your identity.loneliness is solved finding kindred spirits.i lived in london for 3 years with my ex girlfriend.she left me although she kept living in the same house as me.i never felt more lonely.there is so many people lonely just because they are not looking in the right place.join a gym, you will meet dozens of people while you get fit.that will attract the opposite sex as well.believe me, gyms are the best place to meet people.try it and you will see i am right

I really feel bad this evening that made me decide to search over the internet assuming that there will be answers to my questions. oftentimes, i ask myself whats wrong with me that most of my friends talk behind my back knowing that im not doing anything bad against them. i always try to be nice but why do i always feel alone and sad at the end of the daY? reading your posts made me realize that i have so much more way to go. i dont have to hate and blame myself just because people can't accept me. i know i have to love myself and trust God instead. we are on the same boat. i find this sharing perse very helpful. i may not have friends in person, but i know that someone like you is willing to listen.. thanks.

Yeah im lonley b.f is my only and best friend its hard cuz i had to cutt friendz off tht i thought were friends but werent they jus hung with me if they needed sumthing but enjoy life go for walks meet ppl online thiers alot of great guys jus gotta find tht rite one but if u wanna true friend im here ;)

& being alone is a GREAT thing! ..u dont have to share ANYTHING wth ANYONE!

Good Lord. Is that the best you can come up with? Most of these people are crying out for advice. Not silliness.

How is expressing how I feel.... SILLY?... MOUSY

Obviously you must get the last word in this ongoing year long battle of comments! Here, let me help you. Expressing how you feel isnt wrong.... Now, coming onto a forum specifically for people who don't feel great about how their lives are going and want to talk about it or vent... and then TELLING them how to feel, IS wrong. Its like making fun of someone for having an injury and telling them to cheer up, and that it could be worse. You are not helping, sure it could be worse, but that person is dealing with some pain. I cannot believe you think it is acceptable to come trolling here. So I will say it again. Get. Out.

:) Ahhh...nice and refreshing. Thanks TheRQCKSTARZHquSeNHDZQ3, I feel MUCH better after having yelled at a jerk like you.

Well, look at th BRIGHT side, at least ur not HANDICAP or disabled, ..& NO! ..loneliness is NOT th same thing!

What if you are handicapped and have cyclothymia? Get. Out.

I really hope that I can say something useful here:

I used to feel sad and lonely a lot, I spent a lot (a lot) of nights crying myself to sleep from a pretty young age mostly due to family troubles which lead to troubles with my friends.

One thing that really helped me was changing my outlook to be more positive towards life. For me I read a couple of books (the names of which escape me, sorry!) and I watched the DVD of 'The Secret' (many believe it's rubbish but honestly all you need to learn from that DVD is to take charge of your thoughts and make them positive!).

So basically once I started being a more positive person it just attracted people to being around me. I got really good at it and it was great! More positive thoughts = more positive actions = even more positive thoughts and so on.

Obviously this is only part of the solution as you will need to go out and actually meet people, but with social media being the way it is these days you will just have to put yourself out there and strike up convorsations (Australia spelling), just don't get too comfortable - you have to push your comfort zone and go out with people in person. Invite someone out to the movies or something.

Anyway I read through all of these responses and you all sound like beautiful loving people, I wish there was more that I could do to help...

Sad Girl, I actually envy you because you are so young. You have to realize your worth is not what other people make of you- or, what you perceive as others' opinions. Slow have your whole life in front of you! I'm sad and lonely, too, but I'm 54 years old, and don't have the choices you have in life. If people reject you- find someone who appreciates and values you for who you are. You may not think they are out there but I guarantee you that you'll find that person. Then you'll be happier.

*hugs tight*

:) Hello andro333, thank you very much for taking interest in my undoubtedly long tangent. I am happy that you found it to be of benefit for you. It is always my pleasure to be of assistance, providing that it is feasible. Have a good day.

:) Hello, sadgirl20. Foremost, I would like to begin by saying that I have perused all of the comments thus far, and those sentiments one way or another encapsulate the state of my current life. On respectful behalf of all, I deeply regret to hear of your pain that you feel alienated and / or dissociated from society. I am one caliber above sadgirl20, a 21-years-old guy, and my life is empty of zest, absent of friends, a place of employment, relationships and the wonderment of adventure. :(

Though, I am ambitious, possessing talents in the facets of writing / songwriting / lyricism / poetry, which I have developed an affinity for, residing under my parents' roof, I am currently treading / traversing the path in outright, lonesome disregard by my peers, though I have a wonderful, loving family who I love dearly and have supplied me with the best foundation that any son could have ever asked for, I continue to uphold the title of "emblematic of the unknown" (lyrics from Thrice's "Image Of The Invisible" and have been the source for cold seclusion.

I am sorry, ladies and gentlemen, but I cannot ignore my inclination to make the conclusion, that I simply cannot see any of my peers engaging in any conservation with me or welcoming my friendship. Moreover, as being single and virginity has been painful since the dawn of middle school, for all of the beautiful lipgloss smiles and jewels that have captured my curious eyes and immobilized my step, their selective kiss will never paint my vacant lips. Of course 'never' should be a word that is seldom used.

Not me, for I am not "Hollywood bod" quality. I just cannot envision any girl ever wanting me or falling in love with me. It is just not feasible. :,( It would appear to me that some people truly are not meant to be the recipient of Cupid's love arrow or lose their virginity. When I juxtapose myself with others, sometimes I feel like an alienated freak. I really do, and it hurts. :(

I believe that what deters others from meeting my acquaintance is my insecurities, my sophisticated jargon and of course my looks. A girl had once inconspicuously and rudely said, while I was diligently working in my college library, "Nice face; eww". It was truly as if my heart and confidence temporarily melted. Discrete tears trickled, but I was sure to render them scarce.

It is such a shame because I think that I am such a sweet, loving and caring son / brother, and I could soothe the heart of any sweetheart. On numerous occasions, my father has payed me one of the nicest compliments that anybody could receive. He has said that I am a caretaker, and brought the biggest smile to my face like you do not know. :) It could not be a more true sentiment; I have the capacity to love and to serve as a mentor to those who seek a remedy. :)

I strive to be a more sweeter, lovable, empathetic, sympathetic, and caring person; I want to be the keeper of the key to an angel's heart. But alas, the people cannot identify the fruit of my heart; they can only issue prejudgments at the discretion of the ego.

Therefore, it is for this reason that I have resorted to the realms of songwriting and music producing, for I can comfortably convey all of my emotions, my desires for love / romance on a vacant canvas that welcomes my irregular rhymes and always appreciates them. :) Music is a vitality, which helps to provide a release and softens my sadness and bids a smile to dominate. :)

Irregardless of the fact that I am ultimately alone when gas out in the four-wheel drive, my pride is not swallowed because I love who I am. I am happy to have discovered 'Experience Project' because I am met with the acknowledgement that, on the contrary, I am not alone. :) I hope that, despite your feelings, you still love yourself, you have been able to make friends and that you find the love of your life. I will surely be praying for you. :)