Why Does It Burn?

Every morning as I wake up I dread it when my mind activates. All of the past negativities start to play out in my mind and I feel the dark cloud above my head. I struggle to get up and wonder what is the point then realize this isn't how it's suppose to be. I struggle all my life with this depression and thought I was doing well until I had a breakdown a couple of months ago. Since that point my life has been a struggle and I feel so lonely. I am by myself in a different country because of past mistakes so no family to lend a hand. The people who I thought were my friends have taken and taken from me that i don't have any money or any confidence. I know this time will past but dealing with it in the meantime is a daily struggle for me. I want the burning of my heart to go away so i can start dealing with my thoughts. i want the burning of my soul to go away so that i can feel the joy of life again. why does it burn so....
me2bgolden me2bgolden
36-40
5 Responses Jul 11, 2010

I really feel like you and I also live abroad....with no family or friends other than a husband who works all day and 2 small children that can hardly talk. My children are the reason why I get up in the morning even though i wish i could just be in a dark room forever. I get up with my mind completely ''all over the place''. specially because i always have terrible disgusting nightmares. I fight depression since i was 5 or 6 years old, it all started because of a horrible childhood which i had. I really try every single day to find a way to cope and maybe improve. The only thing that is helping considerably is to follow my religion (which is espirituality/christianism). Having hope that God is looking after me and that there will be an end to all these suffering makes me going. I think that everyone with depression should find a faith/religion/belief which suits u better. This can give u hope when everything else is falling apart.

your life sounds exactly like mine i dont sleep i just stay awake till im exhausted when day breaks i get up and go to work and i am doing so badly at work i am just going through the motions i hate it so much there.i know how you feel i've been in this country for ten years and i feel like all my hopes and dreams have been dashed i feel i let myself down. i have no family and i've cut off my friends because they were just using me and i just feel so alone. The pain never stops

your life sounds exactly like mine i dont sleep i just stay awake till im exhausted when day breaks i get up and go to work and i am doing so badly at work i am just going through the motions i hate it so much there.i know how you feel i've been in this country for ten years and i feel like all my hopes and dreams have been dashed i feel i let myself down. i have no family and i've cut off my friends because they were just using me and i just feel so alone. The pain never stops

I am sorry you suffer from depression. People who have never experienced it cannot imagine the mental anguish of those who have. It is important for you to try to establish a reliable network of support. Keep fighting the good fight and aim for small achievable goals.

a different country?? which one?<br />
<br />
i hate waking up too. and falling asleep, which is pretty much impossible. <br />
coffee helps.