Brain Chemistry.I live alone, have done since Feb 92. Over the years my interaction with other people has become less and
I have one very good friend, he generally comes over on Wednesday evening when we discuss events of the previous week and generally set the world to rights.
My friend lives just across the road from me, he is married with teenage twins, he also has a full time job so his spare time is limited.
In the summer when he takes his family on holiday I don't see him from the wednesday before he leaves through the two Wednesdays that they're away and then until the wednesday after their return. This you can see is a whole month. During these times I may not see or speak to another human being. It's a long time to be all on your own.
I do get lonely, I get lonely during the weeks when I know he's just across the road, I get especially lonely on the rare occasions when he drops me of at home after a hospital appointment or a very rare shopping trip and I'm left alone in my flat after being out in the world amongst all those different people. I really like people but I don't suffer fools.
Now here's the thing. My friend works in retail, he deals with people daily, he has a married brother and 'in laws'. he is a very popular person in our village community. What I'm trying to illustrate is that my friend knows people!
We have been close friends for 17 years so I think I can trust him not to bullshit me. He has told me that he doesn't know anyone else like me, he doesn't know anyone who is as well balanced as cheerful or optimistic as I am, he also insists that I'm one of the most intelligent people he knows (yes I know that sounds so arrogant).
My friend finds all of this all the more incredible when he considers the multiple traumas and bereavements that I have faced in my lifetime (many potential stories for EP if this story is well received).
Now what is the point of this story (other than to let Ep members learn a little more about me).I have read many stories about loneliness and depression during my few days on EP. I should add here that the one time that I was seriously clinically depressed I was still working, surrounded by people, many of whom professed to be my friends. I finally emerged from that depression almost at the exact moment that I left that old job with my severance pay tucked in my wallet.
The point is. Some people become very easily depressed, others feel lonely when in crowds.Now there are people who might compare them with me and conclude that they should pull themselves together, snap out of it or make other unhelpful comments.
The thing is, it just doesn't work like that. It's not the number or degree of personal traumas that a person suffers that decree's how depressed they may get. It is entirely personal and specific to the individual our brains are all wired differently, we all have varying degrees of resistance to depression and loneliness and we all deserve the same amount of understanding and support if we fall prey to them.
This is a lesson I have come to understand as I have fought my own demons and watched others fighting theirs.