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Pain And Despair. A Poem.

 I wrote this poem yesterday when I had been feeling awful,
 for several days. Luckily someone special logged in and
 I was so happy I felt much better.

     Pain and Despair.

 The wolves are howling at my door
 They're trying to get in,
 They howl and snap at my defense
 It's such a frightful din.

 They seek the flaws in my defense
 They sense the weakness there,
 They snap and snarl and salivate
 They'd feed on my despair.
 
 My body brought them from afar
 It's pain gave me away,
 I fight them through the long dark night
 Until the light of day.

 This time I'll call out to my friends
 I know they will respond,
 To help me through the dark and pain
 Into the light beyond.

 Is it the pain that brings despair
 Or does despair bring pain,
 whichever is the catalyst
 I'm fighting both again.

 This broken frame and troubled mind
 Are fighting to hold out,
 Against the wolves so soon returned
 The outcome is in doubt.

AlmostAristotle AlmostAristotle 61-65, M 25 Responses May 5, 2011

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Your poem is touching and beautiful. Ari, you are beautiful. :)

The young man's responds is that of a hurt boy. He has been leaving me messages of such anger. Let's wish the sad lad well and hope that one day soon he will see that he is the master of his vessel and the world owes him nothing that he doesn't work for. What one reaps is what one sows. I wish this boy peace and knowledge.

Free, you are the third person in my circle to recieve hate mail from this youth because you are my friend.
I'm so sorry that this cowardly youth has chosen to direct the anger he feels toward me to try to hurt my friends. He has blocked me. So I can't ask him to stop, and I guess that even though i've blocked him, reading comments below my stories will allow him to identify likely friends of mine. I'm just so sorry that you have all been dragged into this.
If you've read the recent comments above you'll have grasped the whole story.
I have no idea what he has been saying to you all, only that it's very unpleasant. if he persists I shall report him to EP. and they will deal with him.
Once again, sorry for the unpleasentness.
Ari.

No apology from you is needed. I just wanted you to know I have your back, sweetie. :)

I certainly hope that this youth finds a better attitude towards life. Unfortunately, wallowing in his own self pity is not going to help.
I hope that his attack of anger will spur him to do something more positive to improve his situation.

Ari, I have know you for over 2 years now and I can totally say that you are one of the strongest men I have ever had the pleasure of talking to.
Your words always touch my heart and make my mind think and my heart feel.
You inspire me in so many ways. There will always be angry and mean people who try to bring us down but you need to know that folks like you balance that out and make the world a truer and far better place to live in. You have all my admiration, support and love. ♥

sie, this young 'pretty boy' is just angry at me because he has spent two days on EP. whinging and complaining about how bad his life is, and how hard he tries to make friends. So hard in fact that in his two days here he hasn't commented on a single story written by any other member.
He has written thirteen stories, calling everyone else ignorant, and bemoaning the fact that the world refuses to drop a happy fulfilled life into his lap without him lifting a finger to make it happen.
I went through his stories and pointed out all the reasons why his pretty looks were not enough to make people like him.
He is typical of many of todays young people, (but certainly not all). He complains of not having a life or friends, but mentions nothing that he has done to earn these things.
He is angry with me because instead of wiping his virtual eyes, I told him that he doesnt know how lucky he is, and that he needs to get off his arse and DO something to make a life for himself.
I was ashamed to discover that he was British, and told him so.
sie, sometimes like just now, when things are all wrong in my life, I get severely pissed at able bodied young people who think that the world owes them something.
He must have chosen this story to vent his frustration at my lack of sympathy for his pretty ordinaryl life.
It's a shame that after leaving his charming remarks, like all ignorant, idle, cowardly young time wasters, he immediately blocked me.
I had, had a laugh at his comment, and was all set to use the 'K' style very cool logical, and calm approach on him. Alas he had run away, no doubt to continue whinging and whining about how bad his life is, and continuing to do nothing to help himself to improve it.
I admit that I was very harsh with my comments on his stories. But if he'd taken the time to look more cosely, I had included some very sound advice to help him.
Perhaps his built up anger may come out in a more positive way, now that I've shown him that not everyone is going to give hin instant sympathy, and that life has to be worked at, hard as that may be.
Ari.

I just went to a few of lc's stories and didn't see any comments from Ari, maybe he deleted them. I did see lc being really mean to a 14 year old girl tho so I am thinking he isn't all innocent in this.
I've seen you get pretty grumpy before Ari and I have even tried to calm you down a couple times. I also see where you're coming from with a person complaining about no friends and they haven't made any effort to make any. Folks only get out of life what they put into it and that is just a cold fact everybody needs to know eventually.
Past all that.. the comment lc left right here on Ari's thread is more then enough for me to decide I would never say a word to him. I do agree with Ari that it seems some folks just expect a "Happy Ever After" to fall in their lap with no real work behind it and life just doesn't go that way. Instead of being mad about what others have and do we all gotta get up and do what we need to do to have the life we want.

Ari even when you're grumpy... I still love you.... ♥ ♥ ♥ Some days ep can make ANYBODY grumpy......hugs and hugs

TY your poem made me feel less alone, I dont want others to suffer but is comforting to know there are more then I. Spent half nite reading bible to let go of ick feel much better today. your poem was great added touch to my day.

That's a wonderful poem Brian, hope things are well with you today.

lovely and real~ I felt it~ xx

Thank you hc.

Thank you avatarunknown. You're very kind, things are good far more often than bad, the fight comes naturally to me.

A most eloquent description of the battle againt depression. I sincerely wish you relief from your pain and strength for the fight.

I admire how you turn your lonlyness/depression to an inspiration. Thanks for sharing poem.

Thank you again for your positive and kind comments.
Ironically, today I am almost pain free, and am enjoying a happy poitive state of mind.

Good that someone was there for you during your dark mood episode.

I'm on ep every day! Send a pm when you need to get something off your chest!

...indeed, Ari, you are not alone...;)



Cheers!



:)

Thanks marcus it's always nice to know you'e not alone.

Ari:



I know what it's like to have the wolves at the door, it's all about the lows and highs.



There are often few places where you get a nice normal middle ground, though I hope for your sake that you do.



Sincerely,



-marcus

You are a fighter Ari that's for certain don't listen to the wolves just listen to your heart and you will find you don't have to feel this way. There are people put there that care for you.



Never give up.

I care and though I'm only 15 I will listen to you and help as best as I can.



Della

Awwww, *hugs* Ari. It's so awesome that you do grasp all that about yourself and others. Very keen perception and understanding you have.

Thank you so much foolish, the gratitude is mutual.

Thank you Venus, There is a pattern to all of this, unfortunately I can't seem to have what I find rewarding and good in life without the depressing down of anti climax. A basic flaw in my character for which I pay a high price far too often.

Thank you for a lovely poem ersatz. It's much appreciated.

Thanks sierra. The main thing that I hope to achieve with my writing is understanding. In real life people often judge me. They judge me based on their expectations of able bodied people, people who have suffered a fairly average amount of trauma in their lives, they know very little or nothing about my life experiences, so they have no accurate guage by which to judge. By sharing my stories on EP. People have come to know about my life, lows and delicious highs! From this they have an insight by which they may more accurately judge what kind of person I really am. In the real world people ask 'how are you' but they either don't really want to know, or don't have time to listen to the answer to their question.On EP' people have the chance to read what the answer would be if they had asked the question, and gradually they form an opinion about me, which I am very pleased to say is mostly positive.

This is what my writing has given me, and perhaps this is why I value peoples comments so highly :)

There is no doubt, you can succeed

Don't give in, there is no need

Victorious you shall appear

With all of which you hold so dear

So fight your demons, keep them at bay

In the end you shall see, you are OK!

*hugs* It's sad that you face this but it's good that you can express it so well. I hope your writing acts as a sort of venting process for you.

I'm pleased that I appear to bear my pain with serenity and grace. The poem is evocative and thought provoking, thank you for sharing it with me.

This is a poem by Kahlil Gibran. Although he is speaking of emotional devastation or loss, in a sense,it is pertinent to your situation too. Although your pain has not been self chosen, there is a certain serenity in bearing with it in grace as you do.





On Pain

Kahlil Gibran



Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.

Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.

And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;

And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.

And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.



Much of your pain is self-chosen.

It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.

Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity:

For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,

And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.

It's not every day Hannah most of the time it's perfectly bearable, no more than discomfort.

Owch! I am sorry you have to fight this every day Aristotle. I loved the poem...your spirit is very resilient as much as your poem is plaintive.

Than you Nz you are so sweet and kind.