Look Inside And See The Vacumn


Another day winds on down. I think its Tuesday. Or is it Thursday or Monday? Is it AM or PM? Is it June or January? My calendar is the blank wall I stare at. My face is a blank mask in the broken mirror. My reflection is a shattered self image. It should be destroyed beyond all recognition. My glass is neither half empty or full but lays in pieces on the floor. There is bitter bile liquid everywhere, distilled from the countless bitter pills I have swallowed. I am a disfigured veteran of a thousand psychic wars. My energy spent, my armor destroyed. I am a extreme inversion, a hectic silence . Numbing quiet. Stony defiance. Time flies by. I have no hope of catching up. A fruitless pursuit. A lot like chasing ones shadow. Fleeting feelings. Smothered joy. A broken toy. Forgotten words. Bleak memories. Washed away by the tide of guilt. Sandbars of fear. Ships of anger draw near. I see the flag ship, mighty and judgemental.Nowhere to go. Nowhere to hide. I can’t decide. Wave on. Drive on. It don’t mean nothing

XendlessXurbia XendlessXurbia
51-55, M
8 Responses Jun 14, 2011

Just wow...unbelieveably powerful writing coupled with heart wrenching emotions.Gawd knows you're talented as hell.

Wow. You just described me to a 'T' but I couldn't have done it so eloquently.<br />
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Best wishes and I hope you find inner peace and happiness

i fell totaly the same! oh god it seems there's more ppl like me out there

God Vince, your a poet man!! That is so ******* good!! It sums my life up to date! It made me cry, for lost hope! Hang in there man, I'm always here!!! Cath p.s Excellent, get it published, SERIOUS!!

Despite your obvious pain, your words are so beautifully written. They express what so many of us feel, and as I read, I could only nod in understanding and empathy. You are not alone. I don't know if that makes any difference to you, but it is the truth nonetheless. Like Daveyboy said - please take care of yourself, and know : you are not alone.

You offer an excellent analogy of how you see your life because of depression. Battling depressive episodes is never easy. But please keep in mind that depression is extremely sneaky and has a way of creeping into our brain and distorting our our thoughts and feelings.<br />
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You don't say but if you'd like someone to talk to but if you do, please let me know. I'm a pretty good nonjudgmental listener.<br />
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In the meantime, please take care of yourself.<br />
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Kindest regards,<br />

Oh my there's those two names again.

What a creep,what a weirdo!