I Feel Like I Can't Get Started....I had all these plans and resolutions for the new year and I haven't started a thing...I have not started working out, or filling job applications everyday, or started looking at colleges to transfer or started an admissions application. One of the resolutions I keep breaking and starting over with it so at least I am not giving up on it.
My sleeping pattern is all messed up, I keep staying up late and then don't get up till noon. I'm also feeling really empty and annoyed with everything. I'm sick of living at home with my parents. A part of me just wants to pack my bags and leave. I should have been married by now, I should have graduated college by now, I should be out of here by now. I don't know how I got myself into being here for so long. I am sick of everything. I should have gotten hired by now!! The job market sucks majorly!! I have filled out so many applications and to the same places over and over again because I just don't know where else to look anymore. It's sick! I have great work ethic with school and got amazing grades last semester and I wish this would earn me ticket in the job arena!! I deserve a freakin' job!! It's been three years without a job! For three years I couldn't buy presents for Christmas or Birthdays!! It gets annoying!! I've been spending that time in school and then decide to major in music because I'm crazy but also love this and have been doing so well with it. I just hope this is the right path this time.
It's also time for me to start looking at transfer schools for the fall or spring; I am excited and scared at the same time. I go back to school after this next week coming up. I am excited but don't want it to come too soon because I'm going to miss it when it ends. I have the most amazing voice teacher and then choir has some great memories. I love music and being a part of it and I hope the journey doesn't end when I leave. I hope the relationship I have with my voice teacher doesn't end because I look up to her. This is the path in my life that transformed me. It woke me up to want to do things again and I just don't want to get all mopy.