I Feel Like I Can't Get Started....

I had all these plans and resolutions for the new year and I haven't started a thing...I have not started working out, or filling job applications everyday, or started looking at colleges to transfer or started an admissions application. One of the resolutions I keep breaking and starting over with it so at least I am not giving up on it.

My sleeping pattern is all messed up, I keep staying up late and then don't get up till noon. I'm also feeling really empty and annoyed with everything. I'm sick of living at home with my parents. A part of me just wants to pack my bags and leave. I should have been married by now, I should have graduated college by now, I should be out of here by now. I don't know how I got myself into being here for so long. I am sick of everything. I should have gotten hired by now!! The job market sucks majorly!! I have filled out so many applications and to the same places over and over again because I just don't know where else to look anymore. It's sick! I have great work ethic with school and got amazing grades last semester and I wish this would earn me ticket in the job arena!! I deserve a freakin' job!! It's been three years without a job! For three years I couldn't buy presents for Christmas or Birthdays!! It gets annoying!! I've been spending that time in school and then decide to major in music because I'm crazy but also love this and have been doing so well with it. I just hope this is the right path this time.

It's also time for me to start looking at transfer schools for the fall or spring; I am excited and scared at the same time. I go back to school after this next week coming up. I am excited but don't want it to come too soon because I'm going to miss it when it ends. I have the most amazing voice teacher and then choir has some great memories. I love music and being a part of it and I hope the journey doesn't end when I leave. I hope the relationship I have with my voice teacher doesn't end because I look up to her. This is the path in my life that transformed me. It woke me up to want to do things again and I just don't want to get all mopy.

LuciaRose LuciaRose
31-35, F
2 Responses Jan 6, 2012

i truely think you need to manage your life properly...like a time tabling system...if u wana make one time table i can help you and guide you....my pleasure...<br />
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i was exactly in the same place like a month ago. i feel like i had been trying to job search for like two years and getting absolutely nowhere. i kept going to all these freaking career center workshops. three years ago i used to work every freaking day and eat super disciplined, and i could not motivate myself to do those things either. i also feel like i should've been this that and the other by now, mostly on a successful career path. anyways, i heard someone say to just get a job, any job, even if its like 2 days a week to get yourself out of the whole "i am unsuccessful" mindset. so i got a part time job that pays **** but its in a nice place and the people are nice and successful, and i can do the work competently without going absolutely insane. Its helped me just to be around the positive vibrations of other people. i also hate admissions applications. i think applying for college was the worst experience of my life. anyways, with the job thing, i literally checked job listings every day and sent out resumes to like a million listings. it felt like sending them into a black hole.i found that being a little more aggressive like calling, faxing, or just writing a really ambitious sounding cover letter helped with getting interviews. hope that helps, Actually just going to interviews helps my self esteem because you begin to see yourself as a potential member of the workforce. even though a lot of my interviews are still at jobs that don't pay well it STILL helps. anyways just start really slow and small if you can. if u need a motivation buddy, i need motivation too.

Thank Emily! That would be great!