My Depression.

Ive always felt depress as far i can remember but everyone figure was just quiet kid or shy but i wasnt ive always felt it but till this day i cnt explain why. I mean ive smoke drank even had so many girls half i dnt remember but nothing..i still felt empty an depress. Even now i have family that loves me and a girlfriend for 4yrs now but that feelin still inside me. Two years ago i blank out i cnt remember much but i cut my self wen i came to it i had 16 stiches on my wrist after that i was release from hospital and started seeing doctors taking pills few months after that i tried too kill myself again i was just tired of my life i didnt care and i took 2 months worth of pills..i saw no light or no darkness all i saw was a women very beautiful she just held me in her arms it was peaceful but i didnt feel happy...anyways after that mental hospital for 1 month and being there only taught me to hide my emotions act 'normal' and i did got earlier than suppose. Over the years my family one old friend and fiancé have tried too make me 'normal' i put on a face and act for them but i still feel it you kno..lonely..depress now im just tired idnt kno wat too do anymore im so tired...
Confusedlo20 Confusedlo20
26-30, M
3 Responses Feb 22, 2012

Everybody needs a goal in life, a dream, something to strive towards becoming or achieving, without that your life will have no meaning or identity. what is yours?

Your right...i was ask so many times but i just dnt have any thats why i drop out school till this day i dnt kno what i want to be life

there is no definition of a "normal" person. you are who you are, and depression os not something that can be controlled. I know what its like to try and fill that emptiness with drugs, alcohol and relationships that dont really mean much, it just makes you feel worse and want more. i know how difficult it is to talk about, and its frustrating to feel that way and not understand why, but depression is not something that can be controlled by your actions, its a chemical imbalance in your brain making you feel sad and worthless. the right medication can help with that if you give it a chance. there are also many natural ways to help as well. hope for the best, everyone has something to live for. if you ever need anything feel fre to message me

Maybe there's a support group? I think that can help by giving you a safe outlet for your feelings and also by making you feel important by being able to help others with your story. If nothing else, it's a reason to put on your shoes and get out and be somewhere for something, just for you.

Maybe your right..but i dnt kno if i can it was really hard for to me just to post this..