I have set here day in and day out it seems by myself. He can be in the other room but we dont talk or smile or have that special look anymore! Over the last couple of years his internet has become number one in his life. I have been so lonely that booze has become my best friend. On top of everything i have been going threw menopause. Lucky me. I have been made to feel useless and not wanted. I was trying to end my life cause he is everything to me. My drinking became worse,, didnt know if i was coming or going! All i wanted was to be loved and needed by him but i felt he threw me to the curb. When you have these three things going on believe me, your mind is out of control and you dont know what you are doing half the time. I guess i need to put my faith back into god more cause i felt he gave up on me! So here i am waiting on the lord to help me get through this!!! I figured he is all i have to comfort me right now. Dont get me wrong, i love my husband but feel he loves the computer and his friends more. I keep asking why me? I realized i gave up and have for almost 5 years now. I know i am a good woman and i can do this, i just need god to help me and i am asking him before its to late.