Loneliness At 22

I wake up in the morning dreading the day that is to come. I lay in bed for as long as I can before I have to get up to get ready for class. In class, I try my best to blend in, to not let my lonely persona be shown. I smile, I greet people, I pretend. After class, I am hungry. I don't have anyone to call to hangout or have lunch with so I set out on my own journey. I pulled out my pipe I had left in my car from weeks before with old weed still in it. I know marijuana sometimes brings out the anxiety within me but at this point, I needed to alleviate my loneliness. I took a few hits from my pipe and began to start over analyzing myself as I tend to do more of while high. I stopped at Taco Bell/Pizza Hut and ordered something from both restaurants. I've been over eating so much that I'm starting to waste the efforts it took me to lose 40 pounds two years ago - it's all coming back slowly, with it, the depression. After an hour of driving aimlessly, I come home. I go straight to my room and lay in my bed. It's now 8 pm. I've been in here since 2 pm. It seems my only escape is through sleep. The day was bright and beautiful. And I've wasted it again. 

pup33pawz pup33pawz
2 Responses May 8, 2012

I know it seems dumb, but a pet helps. I got a cat back in december and even though it doesn't change things it def helps.

I know very much how you feel. I seem to find myself alone all the time, and i just dont feel like i fit in very well. I dont want a relationship and i have very few friends because i have a hard time trusting, so in fairness to myself i sit at home alot and do nothing.