I Just Want My Mom Back...

I started feeling sick at work one day and it wasn't a "normal" sickness. I felt dizzy and my eyesight was blurred. My stomach HURT. It was swollen and bloated. I tried to urinate but it hurt. It was also a struggle to button my pants back up because my stomach had become so bloated. After much convincing, my boss got me to sit down and drink some water. I called my mom to pick me up because I knew I couldn't drive home safely. My boss even had to walk me out of the store where I threw up all over the place. I went home to my moms house and I felt a lot better after I puked. My mom left for work and I fell asleep. I woke up having to go to the bathroom and the last thing I remember was getting up to walk to the bathroom (about a 15 foot walk) and it's all blank. I kept fainting and passing out and waking up in a different area of my moms house. I must have hit my face, head, arms and legs over a dozen times. I just kept trying to stand and falling face flat onto the ground. No one was home to help me and my phone was no where to be found but after about two hours or so, I made it to my phone and called my mom and told her what was going on.

I didn't want to go to the ER because it's an automatic $200 co-pay with my insurance so we waited out the night. My mom thought I was being over dramatic about the situation and kept calling me a "drama queen" when I was having a hard time breathing (my body became so tight that all I could do was take short fast breaths). She did some "research" online and decided that I was "OVERDOSING" on my prescription medication (Adderall and Norco) and that she wanted nothing to do with me and that "her hands were clean". She let me stay the night again and the next night she took me to the ER where the wait was ridiculous and the nurses (excuse my language) weren't the nicest..... I walked out and called my boyfriend to come get me ASAP. My mother said that if I didn't go in and "get the help I needed" that she was done with me and she's never going to talk to me again. I left her and my boyfriend showed up and took me to another hospital in the town over.

There wasn't anyone in the waiting room at this ER and I was quickly put on an IV and had the blood work, urine, etc. etc. done. Urine tests came back positive for pregnancy so obviously, they did an ultrasound. Low and behold, I was having an ectopic pregnancy. By this time it was about 3AM when I called my mom to tell her that I wasn't "overdosing" as she SWEARS I was but I was about to go into major surgery and had my tube burst, I could have died of internal bleeding. My boyfriend was there for me each and every step and I'm grateful for him. I truly am. But my mother is a piece of work.

On top of all of this, I was supposed to be going on a cruise with my mom in 3 days. Her client was going to pay for us both to go and we were so excited about it. I was mostly excited about being able to spend a whole week with my mom - we've never done anything like that before. But for obvious reasons, I had to stay behind while my mom ventured off into the Caribbean.

I survived (obviously). They took my right fallopian tube as well as the embryo that was growing inside of it. I'm healing well and I'm taking it a day at a time. When I got out of the hospital my mom left for the cruise the next morning so I wasn't going to be seeing her for a week and we weren't sure how much communication we were going to have. I told myself that it's only a week and that I can get through it and she'll be back to help me before I know it. I really felt like she was going to support me through this. That for once in my life I wouldn't be the blame to some catastrophe that happened.. But of course things never change and the night I went to first go see her since she had been back, she ended up claiming that I was "high" and that she "doesn't want a high person in her house" and kicked me out and told me to never talk to her again.

I had surgery April 26, 2012. She came back from the cruise on May 6, 2012. This is all VERY recent. I can't control myself about it though. It's like the last straw. My mother and I have never had the "perfect" relationship.. we fight A LOT. But for her to throw me out of her house barely a week after I had surgery... I was (still am) heartbroken.

I confronted her about this but she blames me. She says I'm playing the victim card and that until I "own up to my mistakes" she'll never talk to me again. This is one of the worst fights we've ever been in and I'm still trying to cope with losing a fallopian tube/baby... I don't even know how to feel about it because honestly... I just want my mom..
blondielovee blondielovee
May 14, 2012