All my life I've never really been able to keep friendships for long. My friends always end up leaving me and for that I have extreme abandonment issues, to the point where I expect people to leave me. Subconsciously I push people to their limits to test their loyalty and almost always end up pushing them to twit breaking point, where they no longer want anything to do with me. I'm so lonely because I can't help but push the people that I love away. I'm battling depression daily and I desperately wish I had someone to talk to about my problems and feelings, but everyone who use to help me now just calls me selfish when I try to confide in them. I feel so lost and alone.