The Drugs Dont Work They Just Make Things Worst......I take a bunch of different drugs for deppression and anxiety and also am a farely heavy pain killer user. There was a time when i felt like they were a life saver and that they made my life so much better. I was feeling better from depression and my anxiety was managable. The pain killers i started taking after my wisdom teeth got removed when i was 17 later led to a heroin addiction for three years that resulted in the death of my girlfriend. I feel like they just dont do anything anymore. The depression meddication is still somewhat working but i just can imagine ever stoping it. I dont wanna have to take it the rest of my life. It is a scary thought that i might never stop it. My anxiety when i dont take my meds is ten times worse than it was originaly when i started them.
You cover problems to hid them and get relief from them but they are never truley gone. I am writing this today cause im having a terrible day. I feel like i have a hole in my life something is missing. I cover my problems up for so many years the thought of facing them seems so scary. You see the drugs dont work, cause even when they do they don't make you better they just make u dependant. Your not free and able to live by yourself you need a man made substance to help get you threw the day.
When my girlfriend and i were battling heroin addiction at 18 we often talked about the super rush and feeling we got from the drug. I swear even now i miss it the rush from the iv is so intense and so great that its at first pure bliss. As our addiction started to get deeper, we often talked about though the drug gives you an amazing feeling we still feel empty still lost, still living with a hole in our lives. It's to bad that she never beat heroin. I tried to get her clean with me but it was a struggle for me to do never mind help others. It's true how happiness is not something you can find in emptiness, and drugs in all forms are empty. I realize that but i feel like i can never fully walk away from them.
Though i always saw heroin as a hard drug i never till recently started viewing antidepressants and anxiety meds as something that was concerning. I took them to feel beter under doctors orders and took only what was given to me. That empty whole i felt when i used heroin is still here and though my depression is masked its never quite gone same with my anxiety, and w/o the meds its worse.
#TheDrugsDontWorkTheyJustMakeYouWorse! : (
Synapsethroughspace 22-25, M 5 Responses 1 Jun 26, 2012