Sad Alone Lonely

19 year old female. Pregnant. No friends. Messed up childhood.
So this is my life, sadness loneliness and emptiness are the three main thing which it consists of.
After 19 years of suffering and pain i still don’t receive happiness. Happiness, just a word to me, never felt true happiness. Never once could i say to myself "yes! I’m truly happy". will i ever get to experience happiness in this life, has God made my entire life path an unpleasant, fruitless, depressing and LONELY experience. should i keep fighting or should i give up?
Give up, i shall never give up. Love Happiness Joy. three things i crave for. three things i have never received. I will FIGHT until i reach my goal. My unborn child deserves a life unlike mine.
Am i fighting a battle which I’m destined to lose...
Running seems like such a therapeutic activity. Running far, far away, away from this misery, away from this loneliness. Running to a place where everybody greets you with open loving arms and smiles. If there was a place like this i would have ran years ago. There’s no running from earth. No way No how. Caged in. Cant get out. I am trapped in tight uncomfortable ropes.
I lust for the day i can be truly grateful for the lessons i have learned in my miserable life, Lust for the day i wake up to my beautiful soul mate who loves me as much as i do love him. Lust for my children smiles and hugs. Unconditional love.
Lust for Love.

thank you for reading. I hope you understand the context of my story, there is hope for us all xx
zezariah zezariah
18-21, F
1 Response Jul 22, 2012

I understand your pain, I have been sad and lonely most of my life also, its hard to go on some days but I do go on and hope that someday I will find a place in this world that I fit in. Im here for you if you need a friend to talk to, Im not the best at conversations but I try! Hope you have a good day!