My Daily Battle With Depression And Loneliness

I always tried for so many years to not show how I felt inside, but recently,
I just can't do it anymore. I have tried almost everything, going back to study, changing my daily routine, trying to eat healthy, but stress always seems to get the best of me. I worry about a lot of things. I can remember since childhood I was always the kid that got bullied, the quiet kid. I have no friends, no social life. When I see yonger people than me it makes me livid almost bringing me into fits of rage and anger directed inwards to myself.
Somtimes I cry when I see other people being so happy when all I want is just to be normal like everyone else but I just can't. There is one thing I do enjoy doing, Music. It helps me to relax but I found that it only works as a short term solution. I feel so alone and ashamed. I do not want to tell my boss or people at work for fear of being taunted and laughed at.
I am at my lowest point in my life, and I dont know if I can get through this.
monkeylala monkeylala
26-30, M
2 Responses Sep 11, 2012

I am only 18, yet I understand all of this, I have been through it before.

everyone has low times in their life. some are long and some short. In time i'm sure you'll get to "normal" but since you have a liking to music you shud hang onto that. maybe even go to concerts ya kno meet people.. as for the age you are not old i consider you young :) id be happy that i wasnt a teenager in this generation because all of societys pressure and stuff is getting gruesome! plus with an increase in cyberbullying...

Thank you so much vampiragirl. It means a lot to me. Have a great day, maybe you'll see me playing my instrument on youtube soon hopefully.