Arctic Sea Ice.

I finally did it... not sure if i should be proud of myself or hating myself for alienating me from the rest of the world by moving to one of the loneliness and coldest places in the planet.

I left all i love behind and now i have to get use to the silence which is now to comfort me. I spent the last hour soaking in a hot porcelain white bathtub and a candle light as my only friend. Contemplating my life if i made the right decision or am i running away from something that i am unsure of or am i trying to refine myself.

the edge of the cold water and darkness, my abyss i remember why I am here... to help people, mainly my family, my community and myself.

I left my old life feeling useless without purpose, without meaning...still dont know if i found my true value or worth because the people i work with are unappreciative of the work I do and efforts I gain to learning and being a team player. But I am here to do a job and send the money back home to my loved ones so they can have and make a better life for themselves and make a difference.

I guess right now more than anything the nights here are lonely wishing and wanting my family and friends physically near me to make me laugh and know everything will be alright. Even with computers, skype, internet and phones... its not the same thing as having a person in front of you to pour their heart and soul as well share their life experience with you...

its not fun to experience great and beautiful things if no one is around to really share it with.

coldwolf coldwolf
31-35, M
Sep 22, 2012