How I Fought (and Still Fight) Depression

Since I can remeber , I have always been the black sheep . I could never fit in anywhere , be it school , in the midst of friends or my family . I was always the kid in the corner , never talked to anyone about anything because I always felt that I was misunderstood . At a very early age , when i was still in my Primary I had convinced myself that I did not need anyone , that I was my own bestfriend . As years passed this became more severe , to the point that I had decided that I did not need to live in what I used to call "thier world" .I was tired of living , of feeling the many emotions i felt . I rememer feeling so empty and worthless . I thought about this cautiously , and after I had made my desicion on how to end my life in this "miserable world" , I set out to do just that .I had convinced myself that I would be missed by none ... that they wouldn't even notice that I was gone .So after school , as usual I went straight into my room and locked myself in . I sat there for a couple of minuites debating with what i call "the other me" on wether or not my family deserved a suicide note . I decided not to . I rushed over , grabbed a bunch of pill and swallowed them all . I sat there for quite a while . Waiting for something to happen , anything really . But nothing of that sort happened . I was furious with myself , i conviced myself that i was nothing but a failure . That was my first suiced attempt , failed dismaly .
NicoleRayde NicoleRayde
13-15
Sep 22, 2012