A Crap Life
Everyday i hate waking up i dread it. same old crap going through the motions smiling even if i dont want to i have a family but feel i am taken for granted eveyday i still feel as if i live alone at the moment i am even having trouble feeling happy about anything and considered many times suicide. I am on medication everyday but seems to not work i feel i exsist not living. I know i could not take my own life and put my son through that ever as my mum threatened and took pills on many occasions which sticks in my mind alot from my childhood. I hate my mum because of that i dont want him to feel as crap as i did when i was young. I do cry on many occasions on my own and i think is this is as good as life gets for me. I was when younger physically and mentally abused by my mum which has knocked my confidence throughout my life. I feel very very abnormal compared to other people i see paople smiling enjoying life and i feel that i hate living. Prehaps i should book myself into a mental hospital now ready for later on???