I Dunno

I try not to be a sob story, but for the past year I've been struggling with getting better after my fiancee and ex-gf broke off our engagement literally 1 month before the wedding via text message basically. i was half a world away, and we were planning to move abroad together... it was a pretty big hit, and even a year and 5 months later, i still think about it. we were together for 4 years.

I think ive developed depression, and my mood swings. I have become overweight, and find a pizza and watching six feet under or some other amazing hbo series keeps me happy (thank you HBO GO)... i have moved to new york city and as a guy who grew up in a tropical environment, i feel trapped in this concrete jungle and i just feel empty. i dont sleep well at all, my job is increasingly compromised, i am so bad with finances as I feel like i feed myself, drink myself, and occassionally abuse drugs myself to numbness or to the point of just not caring. i have unfortunately lost interest in women to some extent, as I just dont care to trust anyone anymore.

i just need to vent sometimes, and my sister (bless her) gives me that from time to time. i feel like if i move from new york city, it will be the 5th time in 5 years ive moved from a city (i spend approximately 1 year in each city ive lived in), but i honestly feel this city (especially when it gets colder) is unhealthy for me. i dunno...

alsiv alsiv
Sep 25, 2012