Talking About It Does Help
You can suffer from Depression your whole life and not realize it unitl something triggers it.
Yes, we all get down sometimes, but real depression is a whole different ballgame. I've been dealing with it for more years than I care to admit too. I couldnt give you a specific thing that started it, it was gradual, as I got older, it got worse.
I've been to many pshchiatrist and counselors over the years, i've been in the hospital once (doing group and individ. therapy), I've tried meds, but nothing seems to work. The worst part is, I had to go on disability at the age of 40, and I'm home all the time by myself mostly, and that makes it worse. The loniness is so overwhelming sometimes,, i cant see straight. I find some solace in talking about it with my friends (only a few that I trust), and by writing and talking about it on places like this.
I use to gamble alot, cause when i gambled, i wasnt thinking about any of the crap in my life, but in reality, the gambling made it worse because i never had money and I wanted to die when I realized how much i had lost.
Now, i dont gamble anymore, which is good, but I still have the depression. I've come to the conclusion that Depression is like any other illness. It needs to be treated, not ignored. I see my psych and take my meds, but I also take things day by day. I do what I can do. If i dont feel like leaving the house, i dont. Sometimes I will go to my fav coffee house and visit with old friends and talk. I usually come home feally better.
Everyday is a struggle, but I know that if I feel bad enough, i will call for help. I'm not ready to check out yet (somedays, yes i do feel like it) but I must be very strong willed.
I hope this story helps some of you who are dealing with depression and lonliness. The best advice I can give is "Get Help", and talk till you cant talk anymore.