Help Me :'(

I suppose this could go under self harm or lonelyness... i am feeling so alone tonight like i have no one to turn to, all i really want to do is cut.. the pain makes me feel so much better. I know i shouldnt i have promised my best friend i would stop but it is so hard:(. even talking to him didnt help, i have bean going thorugh alot of rough stuff lately.
I was raped by two guys and i see them everywhere around my small town. everytime i see one of them i want to curl up with my blanket and think of a million ways i could have avoided that night .... i still havnt moved on past that and recent ocations have only made it worse..
With my rape and all i have had a really hard time finding a guy i can trust, i feel like they all lie and just want to use me. about 8 months ago i met ben, honestly he was the most amazing guy i had ever bean with he didnt even try and kiss me untill 3 months into the relationship and he cared so much about me. there was one problem he was 5 years older then me.. We where in love and my pareths thought it was okay and that nothing would happen... when they figureed out how far the relationship had gone they prosicuted him now the love of my life is in jail because of me and it just melts my heart knowing how happy i was and probably never will be againg... i feel like its all my fault...
I have a disfunctional family and im emotionaly abused anytime im at home:(. my parents dont apriciate anything i do, they dont care about me and they dont like me. both my mom and my dad have told me several times they dont care about me but my dad wont sign off for me to be emancipate4d because he remembers the little gitl he used to put on to of the snowman when i was like 4... Whenever i am at home i am sad and i cry along with self hurt. i dont know what else i can do but tough it out but everyday it gets harder and harder:( my doctor diagnosed me with severe depression and angsiaty, i am seeing a sexual assult councilor and a therapist but nothing is helping me..:( i cant stop cutting and i need help:(

someone? anyone? help:(
-sad, lonley, girl:(

beccamarie beccamarie
18-21, F
2 Responses Nov 26, 2012

Hey, Im so sorry to hear what happened to you, nobody deserves that. If you want someone to chat with Ive been suicidally depressed for about three years, and ive had a few friends that were raped, If you want someone that you can touch base with Ive got nothing but time.

I would like that!!

Hey, sorry I didnt respond to quick, I dont stay too on top of my computer. Is there a message system on this site or somethin? Im new to it, I tried to go to your profile but it was blocked

I'll message you when I get a chance!!

I am here if you want to talk o would love to help

I would love to talk!

Awesome (:

message me?!