Where Did I Go?

I look in the mirror and think...is this who I am now? This girl, that has to coax herself to smile, cover the scars, and cries at nights? I used to laugh and rarley cry. I never believed in depression, then it took me and there's no way out...sometimes only death....I've tried...but it didn't work...now everyone just forgets and acts like your just fine....even though I'm holding back the tears....everyone looks away....why does no one care anymore...?....I deserve happiness too....
whyhurt whyhurt
18-21, F
4 Responses Jan 7, 2013

Thanks guys...

You're not alone... Your description of how you feel, I feel that every second of every day . I have even given up fighting, because I'm drowning and do tired of just treading water. It makes me sad to see someone as young as you are with your whole life ahead of you so broken. Have you always felt this way? It took years but if I finally convinced my mom that I needed to talk to a counselor. Unfortunately that counselor and a few others did not even try to help me or listen to me. I am searching now just in my City for counseling. Maybe you should do the same?

Maybe you are stressing too much the importance of others recognizing your pain. There are so many people that are so absorbed in their own worlds that the suffering of others just becomes as blurry and common as the clouds in the sky. Forgettable, in yet just as constant.

Sure you deserve happiness, everyone does. Maybe you first need to figure out what would make you happiest. Self realization is never easy, especially to those who think they have already found it.

Yes, you DO deserve happiness and nothing less. I feel similar to what you are feeling, but in order to battle it you need to do everything in your power to bring yourself UP. Fnd outlets to vent your frustrations, mine is writing. Remind yourself that you have a purpose in this world and people care about you. Sometimes those who are the most depressed cover it the best. We come off to others as happy or content but deep down inside we are hurting the most. Remember you ARE loved and to find that outlet, it really helps ! :)