I Didn't Die!

I didn't loose my identity when I lost my husband, but its really starting to seem that way, everybody knows me, everybody treats me differently, doesn't know what to say so instead of talking to me like my normal self they feel the need to fling there arms around me and ask me the most stupid questions!...I know how hard it is for people, I truly do but I need to be able to make my own decisions, based on how I feel at the time, folk persistently telling me 'dont make any big decisions for at least a year' - I mean come on, why???? you know more than anything, anything I would love people to just treat me the way they used to, ask how I am without expecting me to turn into a blubbering wreck, invite me for coffee so we can have a good laugh ......its just never going to happen up here, I am always going to be 'that young widow whos husband killed himself' - some label eh!!!!! Do they not realise that whilst they are continuing down this train of thought that they aren't actually helping us to move on? I am very much taking strength from my babies and taking everyday at there pace, some days are better than others but I know its good days and bad days, a step at a time..blah! blah! blah!....and I hate that I miss the deadline to book a doctors appointment for today- they say there are no appointments yet as soon as they hear my name its 'oh come down now, the doctor will squeeze you in straight away, we need to re-book your psych appointment too' - well I actually only want some headache tablets so I am digging my heels in and not going!! :( why can't people treat me like me????? I didn't die!!!
soulsearchingforever soulsearchingforever
31-35, F
1 Response Jan 21, 2013

stand your ground. xxx