I've been constantly tossed aside and not considered throughout my life. I've felt that no one really sincerely cared for me except for my great-grandmother because I was almost never thought of, invited anywhere, or considered for anything. I practically feel nonexistent and it's as if my feelings don't really matter. About two months ago, I dated a guy who I was falling in love with and was really sweet, but we broke up near the end of last month because he said that he had issues in his life he had to sort out, but that I'd be worth the wait. I believed it and, for once, I felt that I was actually visible and something special to someone, but that comes crashing down when a 19 year old in high school comes into the scene who my ex dated two years ago. They spend time together and suddenly my ex is into him and they did have sex also, and he's wanting to move to his state because he "has feelings for him that he never had for anyone else before" and he can see a future with him and that he gives him strength. Those words made me feel like what we had didn't matter and that I didn't matter along with how I felt and he really didn't do much to console me because he said he didn't know what to say and constantly asked what I'd like him to do. I feel even more alone and like I can no longer rely on him anymore because we were really close and there were signs of us wanting to get back together. I have friends, but they're not really close and I'm just alone with no one to talk to or to hold me and say "it's going to be okay." I cry everyday and feel down and sometimes for reasons I don't know or can't even explain. People always tell me that they never could have guessed the amount of hardships I've been through because I'm always smiling, but it's just me dealing with my issues alone.
jamie1292 jamie1292
26-30, M
1 Response Aug 18, 2014

don't mean to sound cheesey but seriously "it will be ok!" I also suffer from feelings of being unwanted n invisible. telling the truth I only replied to this because no one else had and I find this unfair and hard to understand for a site that offers 'help' and others that share your experiences. personally I find there is absolutely no better feeling than that of the one you get when you help others. take your mind off of this and do something that make you feel useful e.g. volunteering at a shelter etc. the feeling you get from helping others may make you realise just how important you are and that you are not invisible or useless. make other smile. spread love. even if you don't feel to just give it a go. nothing compares to the feeling of making someone else happy.

I felt relief in just venting and posting what I feel somewhere and it makes me smile to know that someone's cared enough to respond. I'll try to help people even more and I've been starting to help out my friends and others and it's a weird experience because I actually have been feeling a little better as the time passes because I enjoy seeing them smile, feeling better about themselves, and it makes me feel like I'm not alone in my suffering and that I have people that I hope would actually be there for me.