I am 17 turning 18, and i suffer depression, anxiety, loneliness and hypochondria for awhile now, its been on and off. I think what triggered it was the fact i am overweight for my age however i am visiting the gym on a regular basis which is improvements. I am constantly looking at myself in the mirror picking at things and say to myself 'wow you're a mess' i dont feel confident in my clothes so it makes me go out and by sizes that are double or sometimes triple what i need. I have a group of friends but i never feel i can tell them how i feel deep down, i feel people will judge me through the things i say. I feel people judge me as who i am. I feel ugly and just the elephant in the room everywhere i go. dealing with hypochondria is one of the hardest things always worrying when your going to die or get told the news every human dreads. and adding to that i have severe anxiety i will cry so much i cant breathe. my parents tell me that its just adolescent hormones and changes i am going through which i do not believe at all. people my age are enjoying themselves going out, having fun. but im pretty much at home hooked on my computer. I feel nobody enjoys my company {outside the family} when i go to school i feel that they think 'ew not talking to her' im also on an edge, they would look at me and id get defensive even if they don't mean no harm. I always find things wrong, i have a skin condition called karatosis pilarisis which is keratine build up in the hair folicals [google it] it depresses me how i cant have smooth nice skin like they show on tv [eventhough its photoshopped]. i got told by my doctor alot of people are affected and it could be adolescence. I also found a line down my scalp and thinning scalp hair. as anyone would do googles the symptoms and it comes up with a type of alopecia, now being hypochondria i automatically said this is what i have i tried doing another approach and research people said its because my hair is long your hair is thinning [bullshit] its because i probably have alopecia i have to call the doctors again tomorrow. and ask for all the help as soon as i saw/read what i was relating to. i broke down in tears its like a bigger box just landed in my circle and im trapped i cant get out. im not looking for attention im just looking where to put my thoughts cause sometimes it helps i just have constant worry on my head, along with hypochondria issues and anxiety panics. lets hope i can make it through the rest of 2014
LaylaKissa LaylaKissa
18-21, F
1 Response Aug 21, 2014

I understand >.< let's try to make it through this year in 1 piece