I have had a tough life. Recently I got married and we are happy, but the feeling of loneliness does not go away. My doctor is suggesting to get pregnant but I don't know if I can take the responsibility of a baby. I have never been very fond of babies but I do want one. With depression and loneliness (and freaking out sometimes), should I take a chance? Will it be safe and fair to the child? I am confused. Considering our age, we should get pregnant if we want some good years with the baby but I am afraid to make up my mind :( or am I worrying too much?
kushpata kushpata
31-35, F
10 Responses Aug 23, 2014

try inner engineering

you can have all your heart desire, god gives us jesus to call upon
• Needs Food It Gets Strong By The Promises Of God
• Needs Hearing Environment Ish 11;12
• Or It Will Chew On The Negative- Invest In The Mind
• Need Pictures Turning Goals Into Picture- Self talk Conversation- God’s World Contains Faith Needs Protect The Mind -Its Fragile -Have trouble With Mind,
• Mind Keeps Track -No Body Sees What You Experience
• Feed On psalms 119, 91 37 Wash The Mind, Absorb We Succeed With The Mind, A Focus An Instruction, Judas And John Has The Same Mentor
• We Can Have A Relationship With God But Not Through The Law.
• Talk Your Way Out, Sow Your Way Out A Walking Ware House Of Seed- by the words bought to us from heaven. Jesus bought it to us. it Leaves The mouth And Goes Into The Future.

He cant hold you, Christ bought you back.

Are u feeling any better ?

Not really :(

A baby is not a solution for your problem, only you can find a way to break this void that haunt you. Also you have to realise that the only person that can make you happy and fight against depression and loneliness is you. Sometimes is good to embrace your solitude but in a good way, doing things that you will enjoy doing alone, learning new activites, explore more about who you are. Only that way you can feel ready to be a good partner and parent.

I would think long and hard about it. I had really bad postpartum depression after my second child. I suffer from depression and have for a long time. While children are awesome and loving they are also very emotionally draining. Take your time to pray and think about it.

I am worried about postpartum depression also. I am sorry to hear that you had to go through it. How did you recover?

Family support and medication. My husband (at the time) had to really step up and take care of the kids. There were times when it took all I had just to feed her.

You dont want your childs legacy to be that he was conceived by advise if your doctor to treat mental illness/ depression. Pray pray pray. Let love guide you.


Pregnancy is a huge challenge for someone with mental illness. It's doable, but I was anxious A LOT. I was also really anxious and depressed after I gave birth. If my husband hadn't spent a month with me and the new baby I think I would have had a breakdown. Do not rush it, your doctor is not giving you sound advice.

Doc wouldnt listen to me. I was talking about my issues and she was suggesting her way....like we were not even in the same room!

It's pretty obvious the doc wasn't listening. I doubt that doc has any idea of how debilitating depression could be

I don't know if you're overthinking this or not. However, I would question why the doc is telling you to get pregnant when you're dealing with loneliness and depression. It's almost like the doc doesn't really understand what it is you're dealing with.

I really want to get rid of the feeling, you know?

I was alright just a month ago and now I cant even go out of the house :(

I don't know of any quick or easy way to tame depression or even get rid of that feeling. Maybe someone else on here can help in that regard. For me, I take St. John's wort and push myself to get outside and walk. I had to push myself pretty hard yesterday morning just to get out of the house. But I did it.

My daughter is about your age. She suffers from major depression. She made the choice to get pregnant at 19. Though she's a terrific mother, her depression makes it so much harder for her to get out of the house and just enjoy life with her little girl. Often times, it's myself or one of the paternal grandparents who has to take her out to a playground to help her wear off her childish energy while my daughter sits in her bedroom. My point is that though it's not easy, it can be done.

bobrido, I wish there was a way....I would do anything for it

I don't have any mental pressure to go outside. I can just get ready and go but after some mintues, I have anxiety building up and feel dizzy and can't breath etc....and I rush back home. These started just a month ago....before that I was perfectly fine....just screamed and cried during fights, that's all

Are you seeking help for the anxiety and the depression? Preferrably from someone who understands that sort of thing?

I am afraid to take antidepressants. I want my active life back :(

2 More Responses

sorry to hear
getting baby in ur life will definately change ur lifestyle and make u more busy and happy.

But tht will be from the point of view of becoming Mom.
As wife(lover) still tht loneliness may be felt by you
so best is u need to clear ur sky of lonelines..

be together first and thn move ahead with family things

best wishes

Thank you wintersecret.

As a wife, I am good when I am with my husband. He works long hours and when he is at home, he is with me. However, I think having a group of people/ friends is what I need....And I need work :)

Friends said just shut your eyes and go for it....

ooh sorry i misunderstood ur notes above before.
well why to hold ur self then better go out and work for a while.
surely u will be happy and may be in cores make few friends.

if i m not mistaken u r looking for a really good and close friends.

I tried going to the doc's yesterday and waited for 2 hrs at the hospital. I felt really sick. I wonder if I can join somewhere now. I wish I could just snap out of it :(

Yes, I am looking for really good friends whom I can talk for hours when I am lonely :(

does ur issue will resolve by going to doc. may be doc is looking at the whole scenerio in different way... thus u both are hving a different vision

I wish I could say that. Example: suppose my symptoms are dizziness, cramping and mild headache. These can be leading to hundreds of dieases. Now if you hear dizziness and start writing a prescription, you are not listening. You have to hear all the symptoms and then ask questions to narrow your search. Only then you can write a prescription. Get my point?
I need to find another doc but at this stage it's very hard to go out

but u hv to go out n find a right doc...
Precaution is better than cure.

Yes. Please pray for me.

4 More Responses

just do what you think is right

Thank you Insomniac77.

The right thing is to get pregnant and take care of myself but I am afraid if I will be able to overcome depression. I just cannot freak out in the middle and say I don't want it anymore. That's the reason of my dilemma.