I am a male, 54 years of age. I have lived a good life with only ONE thing missing. Love! Now mind you, I am not a virgin and I have been in love before.....once! You see, I The only thing I ever really wanted was to be in love and for someone to love me ...FOR ME! Not what I could do for them or give them. So after 45 years of looking, and waiting for that magic to happen, .....IT DID! Back in 2008, she came to me! Totally unexpected but with such passion and pure love I just melted! She was married with 4 kids before but never really was in love with her husband! So they split up! Then she found me! Now we lived two hours from each other and met on a online dating site! We chatted a few weeks on line and found we were really getting close! Then I offered her my phone number giving her the choice to call. She did! About 10 minutes after I gave it to her! We stayed on the phone all night! Then night after night for weeks. Then that magical day of when we decided to meet! It was on Feb. 13th at 1:37PM on a sunday! We fell deeply in love! needless to say we started a wonderful, beautiful relationship! 3 days after meeting I went to her town and met her kids! They were in their late teens and the oldest daughter had her own daughter and living with her boyfriend. I fell in love with them immediately! The Grand daughter was on 6 months old! But was the charm of charms. She took to me right off! I had , for the FIRST time in my life..... A FAMILY! ....
Fast forward 5 years.
Last year life wasnt so good. My EX and I were having relationship woes! Stale passions, health problems and depression for me. But as far as I knew, we were still in love! Now My ex first husband cheated on her numerous times! Even having children with other women while married to my wife! So my ex DID have trust issues throughout our relationship! But I knew the meaning of the word "faithful"and Trust! So there were times I was accused of talking to other women and even cheating! I NEVER even looked at another! I LOVED MY WIFE!
Well....Last year, after a 10 day vacation with some of the kids and friends, She left me! She "claimed she needed time to think and be by herself! Although devastated....I agreed! Now I did ask questions why! ...What was the problem, was there someone else?, and so one. She assured me there was just a unsatisfied feeling she was going threw! She is 48 and menopause was setting in! So I left! But I found out, there WAS another man! She had been seeing him for 3 weeks before our split! Even spending a weekend with him while I had to work in another state! He snuck in and swept her off her feet while I was depressed and gone! Now, My problem is.... I still love her with all my heart! I cant seem to let her go! Its been a year now and memories have not let me move on! I am back in NH while she is in Northern NY! I dont see her, have any contact with her or the kids! But I cant seem to forget how much I love this women! I want her back! No matter what! She was my hero,my the love of my life, my soul mate... before she met this scumbag! Then she changed! How do I get her back?
mjcdog316 mjcdog316
56-60, M
3 Responses Aug 23, 2014

Sorry for what you are going through. You sound like a good man. Some people don't realize what they have and how lucky they are. I wish you the best.

I dont thinking getting her back is the answer. It is up to her to want to come back.It sounds like the issue is with her,jumping into yet another relationship.There is something in her making her unhappy,it is not you. The only thing you can do is what makes you happy,if you dont know what that is,find it.Work on a better you.Please take the time to also look at the fact that she isnt perfect,step back and admit to yourself the things you overlooked about her. Also,do not accept all the blame for it ending,she is the one cheating and moving on. I am speaking from the same place here. I was shocked and devastated and contemplating all my faults,how i could have done things differently. The bottom line is their discontent is their problem,we are just in the way of what they think they want. Make yourself stronger,improve what you can,but only for yourself. Think about reasons NOT to take her back when this rebound fails. There are true hearted beautiful people waiting to love and be loved,when the time is right,it will happen again for you,and it will be better than ever. Again I speak from experience. Good luck,stay strong!

May God bless your broken heart.