I Fight Them All the Time . I Learn to Change the Depression Not to Be

I fight depression and lonelyness.

I learn to go out in the world. I hate noise and kids yelling .

But learn to deal with it.

And i am going back to school. And see what happens.

i am going to excerident with ladys.

i am trying to go out in crowds.

I am on here and I am not alone.

I dont like to go to the library and get on the internet and I hate to do that.

People fight to get on the computer some time .

But I did.

I find out I am not as depressed and lonely this year.

Last year I was head to a group home.

Talking to some one on the internet .

He was closed to me and we spent most the time on the  internet.

Find some thing to get your self out of the depression and lonelyness.

I don't like to be around people . But i made my self do it .

I love myself more today.

Change myself and now I am not so depressed about my self.

Lashanda

 

lashanda lashanda
51-55, F
8 Responses Mar 8, 2009

thank you<br />
lashanda

Sounds like a success story to me. Check out my experriences. Maybe we can help each other. SHare.

It keep me from kill my self and going to group home.<br />
And look at me so much is going on.<br />
I am going all the time and have not very much to get the write I should to get home.<br />
<br />
thank you for been there.<br />
<br />
Lashanda

Hmmmmmm strange friend I guess

ok i will do that.<br />
<br />
If you die and you mint miss thing that is come around the cornor and that is what freind said to me.<br />
<br />
thank you <br />
<br />
lashanda

Dear Lashanda, We are both in the same boat. I took Prozac for 12 years but weaned myself from it because it just masked the problem, didn't heal anything and now I research the internet for help with this problem. I know it stems from my childhood and my 1st five years. My father was a wife beater and I saw a lot of that. It does leave it's mark on some of us. I never got beat but just watching that was not good for my tender soul. My mother left my father when I was 5. I think some of us are wired differently than others. Some people come out of this fighting and others like me go within and hide there but that doesn't help us. I now am in sort of a situation in that I have one room in a house with others - I stay in my room most of the time. I don't talk a whole lot - I write. I am clear across the USA from my kids - and I miss them a lot but I can't stand the weather in GA where they are. Many days I have to say to myself that thinking I want to die is not acceptable behavior and talk to myself like a parent would I guess. It is always a battle. My son says he wants to die because his life is not what he dreams it could be. His life has not been great anyway because he was sick as a baby. Our life here is a strange journey of lessons - I don't know why and nobody has been able to explain it to me so I feel I understand. All I know is - we have to keep plugging along and dreaming of things that please us. We need to feel the dreams - to feel how happy we will be when they come true and if we keep dreaming these wonderful feelings, they eventually do happen because thoughts are things. If we think sad things, sad things come to us. If we think happy things, happy things come to us. You are such a pretty woman - that is a blessing. Another thing - we need to be grateful - I belong to a place where you journalize your gratefulness. Google Mike <br />
Reining, and you will find the site - it is gratitude log. I'm on there and there are so many nice people. I go there and write the things I'm grateful for almost every day. It helps depression.

I am trying so much .<br />
Not to get depress and wanted to dye.<br />
I know this time I mint be able to do it can post it and you will help me with how it is going at school and the stess and been tired.<br />
<br />
thank you<br />
lashanda

You are making progress. I think we all fight depression - I know I do. The best thing is EP and sometimes just getting up and going outside and taking a walk. That can change your mindset. I've also found EFT - Emotional Freedom Techniques. You can google that and it will lead you to a site. It is all about tapping meridians and releasing the blockages in them. It's easy to do. I don't think of it all the time but when I do it - it does give me relief.