I am so alone.
Each day, I feel like instead of a few feet separating me and others there are lifetimes. I always find myself watching in silence and everyone else goes around laughing and living life to the fullest, and then there's me: drowning and no one even notices.
The days take a toll on me. Each hour makes me more tired of everything: life, schoolwork, stress. I'm just so sick of it all. If I could go to sleep forever until it was all over, I would.
No one in my family even bothers to take up an inkling of what I'm going through. The first thing my mom said to me after she found out I was cutting was to ask me if I was aiming to make a design. She thinks all my problems can magically be solved by telling her every damn thing. If I don't, then I'm suddenly 'lying.' They take every bad day of mine personally. Oh, she's upset? She must have an attitude. Oh, she's feeling sad? That's rude. It's getting on my nerves.
Life isn't in color. Life is grey.
I find myself missing the days where I was dying but didn't quite realize it.
FlyingToHell FlyingToHell
18-21, F
5 Responses Sep 2, 2014

• Needs Food It Gets Strong By The Promises Of God
• Needs Hearing Environment Ish 11;12
• Or It Will Chew On The Negative- Invest In The Mind
• Need Pictures Turning Goals Into Picture- Self talk Conversation- God’s World Contains Faith Needs Protect The Mind -Its Fragile -Have trouble With Mind,
• Mind Keeps Track -No Body Sees What You Experience
• Feed On psalms 119, 91 37 Wash The Mind, Absorb We Succeed With The Mind, A Focus An Instruction, Judas And John Has The Same Mentor
• We Can Have A Relationship With God But Not Through The Law.
• Talk Your Way Out, Sow Your Way Out A Walking Ware House Of Seed- by the words bought to us from heaven. Jesus bought it to us. it Leaves The mouth And Goes Into The Future.

He cant hold you, Christ bought you back.

I know how you feel every day at lunch or during class I'm pretty much the kid you see in the back or front quietly doodling, just sitting in silence staring at the clock or just staring at other people having fun. (But the clocks at my school aren't synchronized so the Times are pretty weird :P)

Omg I can relate to this. I fight depression all the time as well.

Hi. I've felt the same way. But believe me when i say that soon you'll be the one smiling and laughing! There are a lot of people who won't understand depression and self-harm, but there are some people that will try and understand if you talk them thru it. When you're at the darkest part of your life, things can only go up, right? Maybe not today, maybe not tomorow, but one day. Try to find energy to do the things you love and don't try to hide the fact that you are sad og stressed og angry, because then you'll just bottle those emotions up and feel worse. When it comes to your parentes i kinda know how you feel. My parentes didn't understand either, but i sat then down and talked about it and said that this is a seriously issue in my life and i need your support and help thru this. And now they at least try to understand.
I'm always here if you need to talk, about depression or just how your day went :) stay strong!

I'm sorry

Do you want to talk?