It seems like I have been going to school all my life.   That's all I have ever done, and I am not even good at it.   I have no idea how I even survived high school let alone got into college, and yet somehow...

But I can't quit.   Not because I don't want to, not because I have a future or goal, not because I get good grades, as a matter of fact I think I've failed most of my classes so far, I don't even know how to check!   Just because, when I hear my mom telling all her friends and all her sisters and all her rich generous aunts about how proud she is, that I'm her first child in college, and because of that I've graduated in her heart from third to first, when I hear her asking my brother why he doesn't have a job or go to school like me, when she tells me how proud she is of me, I just couldn't tell her what's really going on.   I think she would probably be less dissappointed if I had taken up doing hard drugs like my brother.

Well, it's kinda funny see...  after going to my sisters college orientation and realizing how hopeless my situation really is I went up to my mother and told her I was quitting.   Her eyes slowely turned red as she said "No, you're not"

ForeverAlone ForeverAlone
22-25, F
2 Responses Jul 30, 2008

She is proud of you, but also doesn't want you to fail. Think about the situation yourself, say you had your own kid, if they didn't have something lined up, would you let them throw a good thing away?<br />
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I mean, I thought college wasn't that good of a 'deal' but, it was SOMETHING anyway. It's one of those necessary evils.

Why is your situation so hopeless? I don't get it, sorry. Seems to me like your mother has every reason to be proud of you. You honestly think she would be more proud of you if you started doing hard drugs like your brother? What IS really going on then?