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I Am My Own Person!

I finally had my devorce seven years ago at the age of 50, I have had some good times since but have not found  the nice lady of my dreams. I have concluded that she may not exist and I am now happy with living on my own, but fortunatly I have a close family. Congratulations to you who have been recently divorced but do not expect a 'quick fix', be selective with new people as quite a few of my friends are now contemplating devorce for the second time!. I wish you well with your new life, take it from me that being on your own is liberating but it can take a long time in order to find a decent, nice type of person for a partner. Do not worry about getting older as I am sure that love can be found at any age, even though I have not found it yet.

Richard

floridapenpal floridapenpal 51-55 2 Responses Oct 13, 2009

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Thanks for the encouragement... After 25 years we are now working on our divorce. I still reflect back and think it things could have been different.... I"m sure they could have if: 1. We were different people. I think we are at this point because married way too young (23 yr old)
2. We sought out couples counseling along time ago,,, like before getting married!!!! We are quite opposite in outlooks, personality, even the way we fight. I think I fight fair. I'm usually pretty calm, and want to talk to find a solution to a problem. Then if we have to write it down so we don't disagree later on (sounds silly having written rules, but people tend to remember things differently and writing them down is pretty hard evidence of what was agreed upon) She is passive aggressive and any sign of difficult topic it's always "I'll talk about it later"... well later never comes around even when I remind her of it.... So nothing gets solved. And forget about makeup sex.... anytime we had a fight, she'd clamp her legs closed for at least a week. At the end she would tell me I'm toxic for her health because I get her blood pressure up to high being around me. Really? No I think its from you not exercising and eating right like the doctor said! We live in the woods and a beautiful walk to the mail boxes is a nice 2 mile walk... She has all day at home and doesn't even try....

Eventually my daughter will be getting married (I pray she waits longer than I did). When she finds her fiance I'm going to pay the have them go thru alot of counseling, and then also talk to them both about how they are going to deal with problems that come up and not pull punches...

Things like overspending, (not just a little amount),, but come home and discover spouse spent 6 months of your salary. Then decides she doesn't need to help pay it off. What about affairs? What about emotional distances? Lack of companionship? ... And a truckload of other problems that will come up....

Will I ever marry again? At this point NO. I'll take a GF that can pay her own way. I think marriage makes people complacent and lazy in dealing with the relationship and how you treat the other person.

How nice of you to share.