I Find Honesty and Trust Very Important In Any Relationship
I have had many opportunities to live, listen to, and observe myself as well as many others deal with problems with honesty and trust in different relationships. I must say it never ceases to amaze me the way two different people can have such differing opinions on the importance of being honest.
My experiences and observations show me the person who instigates the deceit and lies, usually down plays the importance of being honest and ignores the distrust the lack of honesty creates. The person on the receiving end usually feels hurt, torn, battered, unloved and unimportant. At least I know the above is how I feel when it happens to me.
When the truth is hidden, buried, glossed over, reinvented, and twisted, trust is damaged, if not destroyed. The longer it continues, the more trust is destroyed. It is all around us, everywhere, every day.
It tears you apart on the inside. Every part of your life suffers from it, sleep, work, family, health, etc. You name it, and it suffers.
Pretty soon, you begin to hear "parts" of the truth. For me, I begin trying to see the whole picture. The problems is, with lies, it is impossible to see the whole picture. It is like having a 1000 piece puzzle, and someone removed some of the pieces. It is not complete. The problem with the "parts" of the truth, there are a few more pieces, but the new parts are part of a different puzzle, and just don't fit. It does not matter if you have all 1000 pieces if many of those pieces are do not belong to that puzzle. You cannot remove pieces from one puzzle and try to replace them with pieces from another. They will not fit, and you can never see the whole picture.
To be able to deal with the underlying problems and try to recover from the damage done, you must have all of the right pieces, otherwise you cannot see the whole picture. There are too many wholes in it, too many of the pieces that should be there missing.
The worst part is when you have been trying for so long to put this puzzle together. Every time you feel you are getting so close, different pieces appear and others disappear. You realize you are alone with it. There are holes throughout the entire picture. Nothing fits right. You get frustrated, say the hell with it, tear it apart and put it in the box, hoping maybe the pieces will show up after being buried beneath something and you can have the whole picture. The scariest part is realizing if you don't find the hidden pieces, or replace the wrong pieces with the right ones, it will NEVER fit together, and one day you may completely give up, even when you don't want to.
If you do not have the whole picture, then you can never see both sides. If you don't have the whole picture, you can never talk about specific parts you don't understand. If you don't have the whole picture, you cannot know for sure is and what is not. If you don't have the whole picture, you cannot trust completely.
My experiences and observations show me the person who instigates the deceit and lies, usually down plays the importance of being honest and ignores the distrust the lack of honesty creates. The person on the receiving end usually feels hurt, torn, battered, unloved and unimportant. At least I know the above is how I feel when it happens to me.
When the truth is hidden, buried, glossed over, reinvented, and twisted, trust is damaged, if not destroyed. The longer it continues, the more trust is destroyed. It is all around us, everywhere, every day.
It tears you apart on the inside. Every part of your life suffers from it, sleep, work, family, health, etc. You name it, and it suffers.
Pretty soon, you begin to hear "parts" of the truth. For me, I begin trying to see the whole picture. The problems is, with lies, it is impossible to see the whole picture. It is like having a 1000 piece puzzle, and someone removed some of the pieces. It is not complete. The problem with the "parts" of the truth, there are a few more pieces, but the new parts are part of a different puzzle, and just don't fit. It does not matter if you have all 1000 pieces if many of those pieces are do not belong to that puzzle. You cannot remove pieces from one puzzle and try to replace them with pieces from another. They will not fit, and you can never see the whole picture.
To be able to deal with the underlying problems and try to recover from the damage done, you must have all of the right pieces, otherwise you cannot see the whole picture. There are too many wholes in it, too many of the pieces that should be there missing.
The worst part is when you have been trying for so long to put this puzzle together. Every time you feel you are getting so close, different pieces appear and others disappear. You realize you are alone with it. There are holes throughout the entire picture. Nothing fits right. You get frustrated, say the hell with it, tear it apart and put it in the box, hoping maybe the pieces will show up after being buried beneath something and you can have the whole picture. The scariest part is realizing if you don't find the hidden pieces, or replace the wrong pieces with the right ones, it will NEVER fit together, and one day you may completely give up, even when you don't want to.
If you do not have the whole picture, then you can never see both sides. If you don't have the whole picture, you can never talk about specific parts you don't understand. If you don't have the whole picture, you cannot know for sure is and what is not. If you don't have the whole picture, you cannot trust completely.
By:
An EP User
