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Just A Friend Of Convinence!

When I was younger, my friend's friends would always end up being a better friend of mine, than they were to my other friend. I have always just had a couple good friends.It's seems like the past 15 years of my life that I have just been a friend of convience to others. I still have a few good friends, but they live a distance from me.

I moved to another state two years ago. When I first got here I was befriended by a few nieghbors. I was very happy about this.  We became close, so I thought. I would have dinner parties for the two really close friends and a few other nieghbors. If they needed anything from me I was there for them and vise versa. Gradually one of them stopped calling me when she embarked on a new career and circle of friends. I suppose she is getting what she needs now. Unlike me she makes friends very easily. I was really hurt by this.

My other close friend has been really busy with his mother and job. I understand this, but we havn't talked in months. He gradually has drifted away as well.

I don't work due to staying home a caring for my disabled husband. As it is hard for me to make friends, I don't see me making any where I live anytime soon. I do have a few other friends, but they live in another country and are only here a few times a year.

I don't have anyone I can call and say hey let's go for lunch, a walk, shopping, etc. It is very lonely and I hold tears back more often than I used to.

Why is it so hard for me to make and keep a friend? I am very caring, giving, a good listner, fun, funny, and always there if they need me
xxxLisaxxx xxxLisaxxx 41-45, F 6 Responses Aug 29, 2011

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Hi Lisa, I hear what you are saying. You are a very kind and nurturing person. I understand this as I have that particular malady myself. I learned some things over the years in order to protect myself. Anyone that looks at me immediately knows I'm a nurturing person. I attract a lot of needy people and I do and do for them and they just take advantage. I lived in an apartment complex and many people came to me for solutions to everything from oil residue in the bathtub to being assistant manager on the weekends at $25 dollars a day for twenty four hour shift. The oil in the bathtub thing the person talked me into showing her how to clean it and I ended up doing the cleaning. I now keep myself in reserve and only offer once in a while and if I end up doing the job I don't offer again. Being taken advantage of doesn't stop there I have a lot of experience with healthy lifestyle information and counseling. I have a mental illness myself and have worked in the field. I guess I listen too well I get dumped on if I am not careful. I have the same desires you have I would love to have someone near me to exercise and chat with. People are very reserved here in Minnesota. They have their own little groups of friends and relatives. It's very rare that they let others in. I would love to chat with you and be supportive.

Thank you, Leena!

Lisa,<br />
<br />
A lot of people in this world are all about themselves. You are a very loving, compassionate person and people take advantage of that. They take what they want from you and then they leave - they are users. That is their loss. You have touched my heart with your stories and with the way you reached out and continue to help me. God works in mysterious ways. I am so thankful to you for your kind and caring words.<br />
<br />
I know how lonliness feels but remember that you have a lot of friends on EP, including me (and my others).<br />
<br />
Leena

Annie,<br />
<br />
Thank you so very much for your kinds words. They mean a lot to me.. Thanks for being a friend.<br />
<br />
Lisa = )

Hi Lisa, It's Annie here.<br />
I hear what you are saying. It's a difficult and isolated life we live when we love and care for our beloved with DID/mpd. However, if we weren't so caring and such a good and worthwhile friend to all and sundry, we could never manage to do everything we actually manage to do and for the most part alone.... I want to be your friend and even though I am in Australia and can only be in contact with you over the net and through this forum, I already think of you as a friend, and one who I can identify with on so many levels because we walk the same journey with our loved ones and the same journey as each other, and for this reason we can connect on so many levels.<br />
Be assurred, your decency and caring nature is appreciated by those who love you and know you, and by those of us here on this forum who understand you, and what you are doing and why.<br />
Take care<br />
Annie<br />
(AMB34)

Thank you, P! You are a great friend as well. Thanks for listening to me and be there for me as well.<br />
<br />
Your friend,<br />
Lisa = )