Sober Single and New Beginnings

I've been sober for several years now and for the most part it's been great. The first part of my sobriety was spent in AA meetings and it helped keep me sober for the first year or so and I'll always be grateful to them for the help. Now I would like to start dating but I'm at a complete loss as to how to meet guys without the help of my old crutch. Three years ago I finally got out of an abusive relationship but since then I've only been out once with a guy and what a disaster! He was pushy with trying to "loosen" me up by offerring just one drink RIGHT like I could ever have just one. Sometimes I think I must not give out the right energy or something. It is getting very lonely though. I have a great family and support from people in my life but that just isn't enough anymore. When I was going to AA meetings I had many sober people in my life but they all disappeared when I stopped going to meetings. i find that it's that way with AA. It doesn't matter that you are still sober,if you don't do it their way you must not be happy. I want to find someone to spend time with who is interested in doing something else besides drinking. Life is great when you don't have to just "get through it". Being sober is so much better and it is like starting all over again. It would be wonderful to find others who are in the same position or for whom addiction isn't an issue.                                                                                                       

soberandcounting soberandcounting
41-45
2 Responses Mar 12, 2009

WHY DID YOU STOP GOING TO MEEETINGS?DID YOU GET A DIPLOMA IN THE MAIL?ARE YOU "RECOVERED?? LAST TIME I HEARD,YOU WILL EVER BE A "RECOVERING" ALCOHOLIC.SO MUCH MORE TO LEARN FROM FOLKS LIKE YOU,SO MUCH TO GIVE BACK TO YOUR 'FRIENDS" THAT ARE THERE WAITING FOR YOU,I AM 81,SOBER SINCE 77,CAUSE OF HEALTH A SHUT IN, MISS MY PALS AND MEETINGS,BUT LOOK HERE,HAD A CHANCE TO SHARE THANKS TO YOU,USE TO BE SAYING,'what were you doing when all was okay (or something like that?) ANSWER FOR YOU SHOULD AND CAN BE' I WAS GOING TO MEETINGS:GOOD LUCK TO YOU AND BLESSINGS.

Congratulations on your sobriety. Your story reminds me of a wonderful quote from one of Richard Bach's books - "Like attracts like. Just be who you are calm and clear and bright." I don't remember exactly how the rest of it goes; but the gist of it is that you will draw people to you who can learn from you - and who have things to teach you. It my experience, it will happen when you least expect it - when you are busy being you - and doing what makes you happy. It is good to acknowledge the loneliness - just don't let it hold you back from giving life your all.