Not Sure Why Exactly

Since my twenties I have always had more female friends.  I played lots of sports, worked out, drank beer with the guys etc but have not had a good quality male friend since high school.  Maybe it’s because I was more focused on the ladies. Not sure exactly.  Maybe it’s a self defense thing.  Most guys I came to know in high school either stabbed me the back, spread bull **** or were all caught up in the popularity thing. Other male friends I had either moved or got into drugs or some dam thing.  I am straight as an arrow but was called gay in high school by some male ***holes. Not sure why I was targeted.  Some girls told me it was because they were just jealous. That I was much better looking then them.  I did not look at it that way. I thought it was because I had long eye lashes.  I remember getting a job and I was introduced to my new manager.  When he saw me his face sank. Turns out he liked one of the girls in the work place and instantly felt I was a threat.  I never got out of his dog house. I did not do anything to him and was a very productive worker.  I guess I lost confidence that men actually wanted to be my friend.  Friendships with girls came much easier.  I did not have to work at it. Occasionally emotions would change friendships but most of the time it was not an issue.  I had friendships turn into girl friends too.  To this day nothing has changed.  It’s not really a problem just something I’ve often wondered about.


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Dan32 Dan32
41-45, M
3 Responses Mar 1, 2010

I have always gotten along better with females than with males. Ive had a few male friends in my life, but I always felt a deeper connection with/to females. I never really understood it, but I never really questioned it either.

I feel the same way as Dan32. Ever since I was a little kid I always got along with the girls better. When I was really young it made me feel sort of awkward.... I remember feeling afraid that people would make fun of me. Yet because I am very sensitive and disgusted by shows of masculinity I feel more comfortable around women. When I was in college I went kind of crazy, slept with way too many women some of whom were close friends and definitely hurt people... I regret that, but I think the more traditional masculine men were definitely jealous. Understanding the opposite sex is definitely an asset, especially if you're straight!

I have always been more comfortable with male friends then female (same reasons mostly) I would have to say it's jealousy but not physical it's more of the mental kind. Communication with the opposite sex is extremely hard for most and for those of us who don't have a problem with it most people are jealous of that freedom and confidence and want to tear it down.