A Confusing Reality

All my life I dabbled at cross dressing. That is I would get something feminie put it on, mess around, and then be filled with shame and throw it all away. Not only did I go through a lot of things that way, but I really was lying to myself.

Finally my wife, Beth, had enough. She knew of my tendencies to cross dress for I had admitted to having this "odd, but only occasional hobby". She figured out before I did and one day laid down the law. Either I stopped lying about my cross dressing or she was through with me. Once I said I "would do anything" to keep her, she showed me the complete female outfit she had bought for me in anticipation of my response.

Ever since then I am fully dressed whenever I am home, and wear as many items of female lingerie under my male clothes as I can get away with when I am out.

With that introduction here is my confusion. At Beth's insistence I search the web everyday for more gurls like me, (I know, ain't she awful.) It is shocking and also reassuring to see so many guys dressed as girls. The more I look the more I realize that I find cross dressed men sexually appealing.

All false assmptions that a guy in drag must be a *** aside, this attraction is confusing because I have always been heterosexual. So to test this I looked at gay ****, and found all the pictures of guys sporting their equipment and even those engaged in lewd behavior does nothing for me.

But put a guy in female clothing and I get aroused. Show two cross dressed guys getting it on and I am ready to spew.

Frankly I can't explain it. Beth offered one possibility; that it reflects my desire to be found so attractive when I am cross dressed that I would be the sex object for another man.

While it offers a way out for my sense of being straight, I don't know if I buy it.

Would love other cross dressers to reflect on their own sexual reaction to other cross dressers.
deleted deleted
26-30
4 Responses Aug 2, 2010

When I am dressed to the hilt, I'm only attracted to women. My Jenny has had men do me like a girl when I'm wearing a dress for humiliation, but I 'm still strait as a guy can be in a dress. You can be strait, gay, bi, or lesbian while dressed like a girl. Genetic girls can be anyone of the types mentioned. Be who you want to be.

hi<br />
love your story.<br />
I have been through similar and my wife accepted r being a cd about 15 years ago for about 2 yars but then she said she had ahd enough so I had to stop but i can't.<br />
my compromise now is to e androgyne, tht is without geder so i dont think of myself as male or female just christine. i mix male cloths in girly colours, pink, pale blue with female jeans ,tights everyday etc and yes I do do womamly things, read womans books and magazines and it helps me cross the boundaries and be me

oh the guilt the guilt! will it ever stop for me?

I created Jessica for my femme persona. I'm a straight male, but find myself so attracted to a full male to female transexual, shemale, or really feminized man. They need to really look like a woman, dress and act as a woman. Still never any straight hairy men at all, ever. Again that is all while being in Jessica mode. <br />
<br />
I also have Jessica dress for a while, then would throw everything out, then the feelings come back. My wife doesn't support or deal with it at all so moments are few and secretive. You are lucky to have a wife that helps.