So some days it's like the world is at my feet. But that's only when I get what I want. There is this vicious cycle I'm afraid i've created for myself. I hate to be alone, I think. At times I'm totally comfortable being alone. But At times I just want an escape. I want to settle down with someone. I've found someone I really love being around....and can't express how I feel....nor feel that I should. I'm a girl that has no problem with guys liking me....unfortunately it seems they're all cocky and unfavorably intentioned. My lack of trust and faith in men has created an awful cycle. I so badly want to open up, be happy and trusting....but It's so difficult. I'm obsessively concerned with a pessimistic outlook....but I continuously tell myself that It's not being pessimistic....it's being realistic. I'm digging myself into a hole, I think. I'd like to just be able to relax about things. About the one i've found that I really enjoy being with. It's just very unnatural for me. So that's my relatively vague yet sadly dramatic story : ).

huggsnkissezz huggsnkissezz
1 Response Feb 18, 2009

same boat here im going to a therapist not a conventional one as such but a intuitive therapist who focuses more on what your feeling hard to explain so you can really get a understdng of what its about. Anyways I think it would help to talk to someone neutral who can help see what triggers you have that are stopping you trusting again you might relive a few bad experiences youve had but it does start the healing process and changes you helps you see your pattern and will open you up to attract better people around you .. best of luck !!