This Is Not A Rant , Nor An Accusation....

I must admit....I miss my friends here.   I don't blame any of them for not wanting to be involved in my drama....it's not the first time I've been like this....devastated, and needy.   I understand that it gets old after a while,and that some of them have advice they think I don't wanna hear.  But I still miss them......just sayin'.....
lonesurvivor lonesurvivor
56-60, F
19 Responses Jul 22, 2010

Sorry you lost your friends.

You made the right decision!! Just knowing you're there and care is extremely helpful, my friend!!! Thank you for taking the time to read my stories!!<br />
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xoxo

Right back at ya, LM!!<br />
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((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((LM)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))<br />
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xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Thank you, LM...yes...I do have some great friends....and should not complain. I really don't hold it against anyone....truly....that it's just too much for them to listen to my whining ....AGAIN....or that they have their own problems with which to deal. I was just feeling sorry for myself, I guess....<br />
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Thanks, LM!!<br />
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

My sweet Orchid,<br />
Please know that you are one of the few to whom the title refers. I did not take offense at anything you said....as I agree with all of it. <br />
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Yes, sweetheart, I understand about your having to be away more, b/c of the kids...and don't hold it against you at all. In fact, I, myself, have been absent a good deal. <br />
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I always feel like I'm boring the pants off you b/c I'm sure as hell boring the hell out of me! I am so very ******* sick of feeling this way...and I guess the pity I felt for myself, led me to create this group.<br />
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Thank you so very much, sweety, for always being here...I love you!!<br />
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Penny<br />
xoxoxo

Thanks so much for your loving care,D....I soooo appreciate you...I'll see the link now....<br />
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xoxoxoxo

I do know the feeling - the loneliness - because, although, I have my friend at home - she doesn't know everything (my "friendship", for instance - she knows I lost a dear friend, but not all of the why's!) AND my mom and dad can only handle so much (last year, my mom was "freaking out" - and she was taking it out on me - accusing me of all sorts of outlandish stuff AND telling me I was a bad mom! She is better now, but I see that sometimes it gets to her and then her concern goes through the ANGER filter onto me or my dad AND some of the stuff my husband and I are dealing with is so similar to my parents, yet they stayed together and still don't seem to be content sadly, so sometimes MY issues become THEIRS - and I have to remind them it is not about them right now - LOL!).<br />
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Anyway, I guess the point I am trying to make is that if I didn't have my counselor and EP - I would be in the Funny Farm, I think. My friend that I lost was the only other person that I could be totally and completely real with - and, of course, I can't talk to him again for at least a long while!<br />
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As for the anger and getting passed it, I answered a question on EP last night (this morning - when we were crazily NOT sleeping at 4am!) - here is the link - maybe something I said in there may help:<br />
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<a href="http://www.experienceproject.com/question-answer/Why-Cant-I-Stop-Being-Angry-All-The-Time/234013" target="ep_blank">EP Link</a><br />
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Let me know if you need more help finding it.<br />
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And you know, you and I need to do something - we need to get out more - find some more friends - I am thinking about joining a Sunday School class for "Divorced / Separated" at church - I just haven't gotten the courage up to do that. I am also considering taking 1 class at the Community College or the University near here - my mom has offered to pay for it - I am thinking the class may be "easier" to deal with for now - LOL!

Jerrica, you are an excellent friend..thank you for all you put up with from me...<br />
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Sleep tight, angel!!<br />
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xoxoxo

as much as you've been there for me, you know i'm here for you as well :) but just not right now, i'm off to bed lol.

Indeed, SM..I sooooo agree....thanks for the comment...<br />
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Penny

Friendships can be tough, especially when one of them has things going on in their lives. Most times it's not even the advice they have to offer, it's just nice to have an ear that listens, that in and of itself means more than anything.

D,<br />
Thank you for your thoughtful and supportive comment. Yes...I try to remember that people have their own lives, and problems..and really I do. And I know I can babble on about this stuff into infinity! I don't blame anyone...but it still feels lonely.<br />
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I appreciate your good wishes for the both of us. Of anyone , you prolly know about the most. Yes..it DOES seem insurmountable..lots of the time. It's very trying for both of us...but we keep trying...bashing each other over the head again and again. The anger is hard to get through..also, for both of us. If we can ever get through one day without arguing about this ****, I think we'll be ok..but it does seem allusive. I fear I'm becoming what he left , when he left J, and will eventually suffer the same fate. <br />
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As far as "real life" friends, I have none. The only person I know in this whole state is Tiger. And I can't talk to my family. They had a very hard time accepting him in the first place, and to tell them about what's happened, would be to erase all the ground we've gained. <br />
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Thank you so much for your sweet show of support...I can see why Tiger is so close to you!<br />
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xoxo<br />
Penny

Well, you know I am not getting tired of hearing it - I am right there with ya sister!! : )<br />
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You will get through this - as will I - it is just hard to see it sometimes, isn't it?!<br />
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I am having the same problem BUT NOT on EP - in REAL LIFE - I have a few constant friends (and one that I "dump" on almost every day - God Bless Her! Oh, and my mom - God Bless her too - but she does get tired of it or finds herself getting "testy" with me because she is so frustrated to see her daughter SO unhappy!). I have a few friends though that have sort of "hurt" me with their "lack" of attention - even pulling away, but in my moments of rational thought, I have to remind myself of a few things - some of them don't know what to do or say, some of them are "scared" - divorce can be somewhat "catchy" and some of them are just clueless when it comes to emotional issues and noticing that a friend is hurting or struggling or whatever.<br />
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What I find is that I sometimes get "tunnel vision" with my issues and fail to realize that others are hurting and needing me to reach out to them - and I am trying to not let that happen. BUT if sometime you need a "friend" to vent to or commiserate, etc... I am HERE - you may just have to give me a little nudge - LOL!!<br />
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I really want you guys to work through things, but it sounds like some pretty big issues so it can feel completely insurmountable. I am praying that you work through yours and that "people" can keep their promises for change and not just give "lip service" or continue to apologize without real change. You know that I care about you both and want the best for you!!! (((((((HUGS))))))))

Thank you for your generosity. It's very kind of you to!!<br />
<br />
xoxo

You have heard more of my **** than anybody...including Tiger!! Talk about not wanting to bore you!!!!! I love you, girl!!<br />
P

YOU are always here for me C1....thank you!!<br />
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(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((C1))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

some friendship are tougher than marriage... "for better or worse"<br />
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i guess some people either dont have the patience, wisdom, or investment to see things through.<br />
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i guess it truly is easier for some people to run.<br />
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i stand to be counted as one of those who does not.

The truth? It pretty much sux....sorry..but thanks for asking....<br />
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P

so how is it going for you now