my company not needed or wanted by my son...
nor desired by the adults... I sit here in the shade of a maple tree...
just watching.
not like I haven't attempted.... I even showed the kids how to pick up a crayfish without being pinched.
instead of looking at me in hero-like worship...
i was regarded as the slightly (if not more) odd mother, trying to be cool.
not cool.
I talked to some of the adults...
but ...conversation failure.
after 2 minutes, we find we just don't have enough in common
to keep the conversation going.
It doesn't matter.
it's fine...
The kids are all playing... screaming..
each one trying to prove themselves in their own particular
to them, strength.
one's strength is splashing... another's is catching the crayfish in the net... yet another's apparently....
is screaming.
whatever it is they are doing... to themselves they are the best in thier field.
my son is learning that not only does no one care what he's doing....
but in fact.. kids can be intentionally or unintentionally mean.
And I sit here... and watch.
These are the things he must learn for himself.
he goes off to play by himself...
and I smile.
It's ok not to fit in..

SweeetKiester SweeetKiester
41-45, F
2 Responses Aug 17, 2014

I rarely connect...and have learned to enjoy alone. The connections I DO make...so sweet.

I feel your pain! Hiding in plain sight.

there is no pain... there are people with whom you connect with, and people you don't. I have learned that you can be perfectly happy by yourself, and while wanting the company of others, not needing it. I tend to reserve myself for the ones i actually connect with. *smiles*

thank you.... really. *smiles*