I'm Gay And In Love With My Bestfriend!!

I am a 13 year old boy who lives in Dublin, Ireland. I am gay and madly in love with my bestfriend! I've known him 4-5 years now and I've been in love with him for 2 years and I'm becoming desperate. I think he's gay because if the way he acts, he is a very gay type of person,secondly, I've seen his history before and there was gay **** on it and when I confronted it to him he said somebody told him to go on it in school, which is an excuse I have used before and lastly the most important point is that me and him have fooled around before, here is how it happened, one day I came back from holidays in trabolgan Co.Cork and when we got home I went out for a while. When me and my other 2 friends where underneath this bridge that we always hang out under, my friend slipped and fell he went back to his house alone to get some plasters for himself while me and my other friend 'the crush' where left alone together. We were talking for a while and by a mistake I touched it ****, and he acted like he was creeped out but I knew deep inside he liked it, even thought it was a mistake. So we where walking home and we rejoined our friend who had hurt himself previouly. All of a sudden somebody brought up the idea of sex dares on my iPod and we all promised to do the less touchy ones an only the ones that that were like 'give the person next to you a hug'. So we were doing that up in my room and me and my friend started cuddling, then it got to extreme cuddling and then we ended up kissing each others neck and this is all in front of my other friend. We decided to go up to the top bunk for sone more privacy and he noticed that I was on a ***** but I think he was happy about that cause he was on a ***** aswell. Then next of all his hand were going down my shorts and my hand down his, we were giving each other handjobs and he was fingering me ( with my shorts on!) then he said something in my ear that made me the happiest person in the world, he whispered " I like you and you like me!", those where the best words anybody has ever spoken to me and I was to happy. I then whispered into his ear " do you want a *******?" he said yes and we went into it and I think he came, and may I remind you that while this is all going on my other friends is down there pleasuring himself to **** on my iPod!! My friend then had to go into his dinner so we had to stop while he left, then here comes the sad part, he was lying down beside me and me being the foolish person I am said " so, how long have you liked me".... He replied "I don't" my heart then sank and broke into little pieces and I could actually feel it and he said that we should bot have done it and it was a mistake, I agreed and that was the most heartbreaking lie I have ever said.
We haven't spoken of it since. It's amazing how somebody can break your heart but you still live them with all the little pieces. I am mad about him and everywhere I go I think of him and if he knew I liked him I would wonder what he would say but I could never tell him because it will ruin our very good, tight, well bonding friendship and this gets me really upset and if he just gave me chance I could prove to him that I would do anything in the world for him, I would die for him. So what I'm trying to sum up here is that I loce him to pieces and I would die if anything happened to him, I just want him to be happy.
Fitzer1900 Fitzer1900
13-15, M
1 Response Dec 3, 2012

That's hot