He Makes Me Believe I'm Worth Watching

“And since you know you cannot see yourself,
so well as by reflection, I, your glass,
will modestly discover to yourself,
that of yourself which you yet know not of.”
     ~ Julius Caesar, Act I Scene I

If the children hadn't been at home, begging me to spend time with them, I would have done it, you know.  Shown myself on my laptop camera to my dear gentleman friend.  He's made no bones about the fact that he likes to cam, and he expects it to be reciprocal.  He is a voyeur.  And he is a nudist.  And he is a funny, lusty thing.  This man, above all others, has made me comfortable with my body.  I still want to shape up more, but thanks to him, I no longer feel like damaged goods.  He makes me feel desirable right this second.  And he desired me the other night.  Sadly, I could not do it.  But I shall.  Soon.  I'm ready.

We were talking about camming together, and I asked if he called out women's names as he came for them on cam.  I would really like that, you see.  It personalizes the experience.  Names are important.  Even if they're nicknames or nom de plumes.  Actually, especially if they are names one has chosen for oneself rather than being stuck with them, as I was for time with my husband's surname.  We ditched that name after his folks died, and paid $54 at the county courthouse to get a new name.  I made the mistake of telling my friend my old, hated surname earlier in a different part of the conversation, and he teased that he would call out that name when he spurted forth.

milkynips: BASTARD.  you have me laughing, you know
Him: You walked right into that. You must admit.
milkynips: ****, did I ever.  I forget how quick you are. You loop back to stuff. It's the sign of a good writer.  You really do need to do a screenplay
Him: I do.
milkynips: You and I need to focus on stuff like that but the internets has so much good ****…
Him: And I need to see your naked body right now.
milkynips: oh my.  you do have a lovely way about you
Him: NOW
milkynips: soon, my darling.  seriously, I shall. you've ******** me of my inhibitions on this
milkynips: My kids are coming in demanding I spend some time with them.They want to watch a movie.
Him: Mommy wants to ***
milkynips: Yes, I do, but every once in a while,  I do give them my time
Him: You are going to wake in the night.....This night.....And wish to hell you have done this depraved thing.
milkynips: yes? well...I feel good about deciding to do it soon. I am surprisingly calm and ready for this. I am sorry I can't today, but I will very soon
Him: ****
milkynips: and that is what matters so…
Him: I own your ****
milkynips: take care of yourself
Him: It may not be revealed yet to to others.
milkynips: because I want to show you my ****
Him: Not till it debuts for me.
milkynips: what does that mean?
Him: I want be there when you reveal your nakedness.
milkynips: well then...see that you are.  I don't intend to do it for anyone else.  not even my NY man.  he will get my face, but if he wants my body, he needs to take it in person
Him: This ruler demands your body as his tribute. And I shall have it eventually. ha
milkynips: hmmm. that sounds promising
Him: Your body shall be revealed?
milkynips: eventually, yes.  let's do the **** first.  incremental revelations
Him: You shall be so wet…as you play with your nipples for me….that you shall beg me to see your ****.
milkynips: hmmmm.  you have a vivid imagination
Him: sigh
milkynips: before you see my ****...I may invest in a corset or bustier
Him: Most women are far more picky about showing **** than ****.
milkynips: to cinch in my matronly tummy
Him: You have a curvy middle. I know this.  And yet....
milkynips: yes?
Him: I still try to entice you.
milkynips: You are a dear man.  As I have said before...
Him: You are hopeless.
milkynips: you give me confidence in myself that was sadly lacking.  C…the kids are getting impatient
Him: sigh
milkynips: I really do need to scoot
Him: You know what?
milkynips: what?
Him: You may not ever get me in the crazed mood again. sigh
milkynips: I shall have to chance it
Him: But a mum must be a mum.
milkynips: If you know I am willing to show myself...
Him: You are nice to say that ....
milkynips: you will get crazed again
Him: But I don't think your heart or ***** are into doing this.  But it is fun to try.
milkynips: Actually...if I'd been home alone
Him: Take care.
milkynips: I'd have made you eat those words
Him: Go swat some kids.
milkynips: SO not kidding.
Him: byebye
milkynips: I'm ready for this. bye, fella
Him: bye
milkynips milkynips
46-50, F
2 Responses May 21, 2012

You seem to blossom with even more vibrance. Do you sense this?

Oh that was a beautiful view I bet...