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The Line Between Friendliness And Flirting

I'm honestly not sure where it is! I feel guilty if somebody mistakes my out going attitude or friendliness for flirting. I talk to everyone and am really open and talkative. I'll talk to anyone who can keep up a conversation! That being said, alot of the time its mistaken for being a flirt, or even slutty. I guess thats nothing new.

And I'v talked to my friends about this who experience a similar problem. And they'll point out things I do in conversation as flirtatious and I'll look at them like, 'seriously?'. I don't mean it in that way its just how I get conversations started. Oh well lol, there are worse problems to have.
SeeChelseaRun SeeChelseaRun 22-25, F 11 Responses Aug 20, 2012

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I like your personality. you come across as a very good and presentable person. and you sound like a blast to be around can we be friends

Its so sad that some or most men cannot figure out the difference between a friendly girl and a flirt.

I can understand how the line can be blurry at times, but more often then not some simple kindness is taken as an invitation for guys to be inappropriate or overly forward.

I don't think it can be blurry, pretty straight forward to me. I work with a guy who thinks that if a female talks to him, he thinks he can ask them out for lunch. And he is married..lol, he creeps the females out by doing this. Oh well.

Believe me, I know the type. I think Iv got a magnet for them hidden on me somewhere. If a guy isnt properly reading a girl it speaks poorly about his emotional IQ

Totally agree!

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I think I can agree. When I'm NOT flirting, a lot of chicks seem to take me being friendly as a come-on, and my mom has mentioned once how I have something of sensual looks, so I guess I feel where you're coming from. I hate the way so many chicks think I'm trying to hit on them, especially the ones who aren't even attractive, lol.

sometimes it's not what you say but the smile on your face or the look in your eye

Men do this as well, I agree completely. Something you can never quiet put your finger on.

Happens to us all I think, in your case it may be wishful thinking on thier part.

You know...I'm blind to flirting. Some of my co-workers would say "She's flirting with you..." I'd say she was just being polite and attentive. It's amazing that I ever got anywhere with women. I mean...what are the signs that actually distinguish the two? I wish there was a rule book that governed this kind of stuff.

You are not the only one to feel so confused, believe me! And ultimately I feel there may be no things to distinguish the two. They so easily coincide where one blends right into the other.

Um...only, when I was trying to flirt...I came off as being the funny "friend" that later transpired as the "guy that listens". What the hell.

Lmao that also is extremely common as well. And equally frustrating for alot of my guy friends. Its a weird line you have to walk. It also varies by girl alot, some girls like guys who can be sensitive and good listeners, others respond better to guys who are more upfront and aggressive =/ lol

That line is really fine. Have never found it. I remember when I was going to school in Maryland. I used to ride to school with a girl, before I got my car. I thought we were flirting... nope. One day in the car we started talking and she said "Oh, we've already discussed it. You're totally safe." Hold the phone! I'm safe? You discussed it? With who? Is there like a secret girl council that meets on a weekly basis to discuss men they think are safe, ********, and those that are dating material? I'm convinced that when boys were outside doing PE in high school, we didn't notice the girls sneaking off into their "secret place" and get initiated into the SCG (secret council of girls). I asked who she discussed this with and she said "Just some friends". Apparently, the club members identities are secret and if you don't have the scull ring that goes with the initiation, you'll never know what transpires behind those secret walls, and the identities of the SCG.

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Don't worry about it. Flirting is fun! It's flattering and makes people feel good. It's always your choice whether it becomes something more.

I have been told the same. My Partner tells me all the time that he hates it when I talk to random people because I can hold on a conversation with a complete stranger LOL. I worked at a plasma center and many of the donors would talk to me about their problems and pass me their numbers for advice. I guess we are just extremely happy confident people. My partner hates that his friends only talk,joke and play around with me and none of the girlfriends of the other guys. He says guys are always looking for anyway to talk to me and I just say NO I am just easy to talk to Thank You very much =D

Agreed! I love talking to new people, making 5-minute friends! Haha, and yea the boyfriends tend to not enjoy that so much =P

I do as well. I tell my partner I talk to everyone and anyone because you can be that one person to make their day so much better instead of them feeling invisible. I love when people tell me I make their day and that when they see me they have a better day automatically. Its a great feeling to have and know that you can mean so much to some one

and me or so i've been told! chin up Chelsea and don't change.. just be yourself!

I try to, same to you firefly!

Yep, happens all the time with me too !!

Me too Chelsea...

Its just our personalities honestly, not much we can do about it.