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The Epic Public Meltdown

Last night- i changed my name. Ohhhh yea, the Lush no longer. Why? I've got my reasons. The term "Lush" means many things. The reason i chose the Lush name just means one thing= drunk girlie.

Today, i was doing my usual Tuesday thing- reading the New York Times magazine and what do i run into? A story about the infamous Cat Marnell.

Who's Cat Marnell? Cat M. is what I would be if someone would pay me to spend time on ep. She's a drinker, pill popper, advice giver. She's also managed to **** off tons of people with her posts. Oh, and did i mention her obsession with Edie Sedgwick?

While reading this article- about how Marnell quit her job for xoJane magazine (they feckin loved her) because she just couldn't be bothered with meeting deadlines due to the fact that she rather be on a roof top searching for shooting stars while smoking some angel dust- i thought to myself, "wtf? don't we all on ep throw our **** out there for free?".

This online mag paid her to write about beauty advice but, why did they keep her? Drama. Drama pays. She angered people with how she'd freely throw in her drug abuse and antics all over the interwebz.

Like, the author of the article- i felt jealousy. Here is someone making money off of.....well, being herself. Meanwhile, i spend my time on this site picking fights and pretty much letting you guys comment on my meltdowns. My thoughts. My secrets.

So, i run off and do my research. I must know everything there is to know about Cat. What do i find? I find angry commentators that are disgusted that she's paid to.....simply write about her wreck of a life. Cause god forbid they own up and be role models to their kids. Why are kids even reading Cat's posts?

I find a group of people that support her. Love her. Worship the very ground she spits on just because, "someone gets me!".

I find an industry willing to pay to take pics of her apartment. An apartment that she has stated, "looks like any drug addicts place". No furniture. Blacked out windows. Drug baggies all over the place. "But the readers will love it!". Of course, they'd love it. Why wouldn't they? Who doesn't want to watch the slow self destruction of some famous person? We as a society, eat that stuff up.

But, most of all, i found layers and layers of hurt. Emotional turmoil thrown all over the place and exploited by the very same ones that pay for her rehab stints. The very same ones she calls "friends".

Cat M. is a hilarious and a brilliant writer. She throws in all emotion when posting something. Granted, most of it are drunk/drug infused rants. But, who doesnt throw in all emotion when they arent stopped by inhibitions? Of course she pissed off a few people. Those are the very same people that believe that no one should openly write about drug use. Or abusing alcohol. Those are the very same ones that say "you should be a role model!"

But, who in **** says they want to be a role model when they grow up?

So, i finish my research. And I'm glad im not "lush" anymore and im glad i didnt have Cat's job. Because keeping up with that persona wouldve killed me. No one would've been so interested in her if they weren't waiting for her next melt down.

Cat's story should be taken as a learning tool. THAT lifestyle, isnt "cool". It's not "funny". But, it is important for everyone to see pass the funny quotes that are typed out during some drunken/high night.

Cat M. got paid to have public meltdowns and now she's in rehab.....again.

But, she got a book deal! ....Should really make you rethink how society works.

************EDIT: Being that Charmy cant seem to read straight due to his shot taking and possible weed intake here's an edit. This story is not about my public meltdown. It's about ALL public meltdowns. You taking notes Charmy? ........yeah, good.
Specifically, It's about Cat M.'s meltdown. And, it was titled as such due to the article i read. 

You done taking notes are you still taking shots?
EdieQuinnz EdieQuinnz 31-35, F 23 Responses Aug 14, 2012

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cool you write good

=) thank u

yes dear

There's a lot I have to learn from you Edie !

You were never a lush. You are simply luscious!

lol thank u

Well said, and well thought. And unlike a lot of the feverish self-explanation on here, it leads to more thinking.<br />
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Here's what I think: Burnt out public figures are nothing new. Pick almost any era or generation and you can find some shining example of self corruption - Baudelaire, Billie Holiday, Dylan Thomas, Amy Winehouse. <br />
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What I wonder about is this: Are we all so hooked on the idea that intellectual or artistic gifts come with some curse that we don't really care about talent anymore? I've read a few of Marnell's rants and oh yeah, I've been amused. <br />
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But she ain't no Dorothy Parker, or even Margret Cho. The addiction and the self loathing are lit up like a Vegas Casino, but the more we play along the more we lose. This is not an artist at work, it's a desperate effort to justify low self esteem. But as much as I question her celebrity status, I don't want to see Cat crash and burn. I truly hope the rehab works for her this time - I'm just not holding my breath.<br />
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And by the way, congratulations on the name change. Zen saves ;)

Excellent points =)

I just DRANK an Entire bottle of PATRON reading this..... AYYYY!!!!!!

*face palm*

Ediezzz!! Let's DANCE!!!

*sigh* esta bien *spins Cart*

FASTER FASTER, FASTER, FASTERRR!!!!

lol *SPINSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS*

MORE, MORE, MORE, MORE!!! *CRASH*

woah.

awwww =(

i need a tissue and a band-aid. stat. thanks.

did you bleed to death? D:

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*standing ovation for a truly amazing woman*

*blush*

People do like to see others self destruct. Not sure why

makes them feel better about themselves.

True just not sure how it works for them

me either. must be a sad life.

Look what you've done! I'm melting! Melting! Oh, what a world! What a world! Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness?

im just that good

it's that damn scarecrow

I fell in love as Ellie with a hundred thousandaire, and we had five nice years as partners and stayed friends five after that. I come here and as Elliegirl, i had a wonderful, warm, emotional love affair with a precious, dear lady in France. I changed my name in January to Eleanorssong--meaning Eleanor's song, the most beautiful name of all, and all I've been doing since then is deleting up to a half dozen male pervs every day who want me to <br />
*:o* for them. Tsup widdat, Edie?

awwwwwww does this mean i gotta change MY username now too? D: ImpulsiveZen? lol.

lmao i actually debated that when changing my name

I hope you like my new blog about friends i've messaged but haven't heard back from and i hope to see you at one of my First Ep Anniversary parties I've invited everyone to on my status post. And i hope I've made you smile and think a little bit. You always do that to me, Edie.

I'm glad I took the time to read this story. This is precisely why I pay as little attention to a lot of 'mainstream' (not) media and social media. There are too many avenues for 'professional' commentators to toss their opinions and views out there.<br />
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You talk about people idolizing and ideal-izing these people. Golly! Does this sound familiar. They say where would Paul McCartney be if he hadn't had the good fortune to meet John Lennon. One could also argue he'd have way more brain cells left if that hadn't occurred. They were so high they even let Ringo sing, after they'd scraped him off the ceiling: "Ringo! You can come down now! Yoko's gone!"<br />
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Holy cow! We've not met before, but I see you have a crowd of detractors hanging on your every word as well. Hopefully everyone realizes there's life beyond E.P.?<br />
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Thanks for sharing your story. I found it well written and articulate, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.

thanks Eli- btw, im laughing at the visual of Ringo crawling about a ceiling.

I think one of the reasons society is obsessed with others behaving badly is partly because it gives them someone to look down on, someone who seeming has the world at their feet but for whom it will never be enough, I think for some of us there is also an element of thank gawd that's not me! I love both Ediez, the 'Lush' and the the 'Zen' but I suspect the 'Zen' will be way more powerful as a writer.

*thumps "like" button over &amp; over to try &amp; squeeze a few more out* :)

The post itself made me cry a bit (in a good way though) I had to take my time trying to compose what I wanted to say in order for it to come across in the right way, your comment lets me know it did, thank you ;^)

Great piece Ediez and well written. I have no idea who this woman is and care less. But it does say an awful lot about a society who will worship such people and then tear them down ... and then worship them again when it suits them (usually when they're dead). It's also very sad that the woman is obviously crying out for help, support and understanding - even if she wouldn't admit it, even to herself - and all she gets is a round of applause and someone passing her another drink ... or whatever her poison of the moment might be. I've known a lot of people who are best friends with a bottle or a little bag of something or another, it's their choice of course, but I'm not sure that we should encourage them in their pursuit of an early death.

Brilliant post. You could so be a Cat Marnell and be awesome at it - and a wreck, but you're Ediez and that's the person we love - and we don't want to see her a wreck. <3

*goes to google Cat Marnell* <3

Oh dear and this is why ediez you get it....when most of the world doesn't ...we get it. It's hard to be in this state alot it takes a lot of honest self reflection, a lot of actual tolerance and a wicked sense of humor I think maybe it requires a bit of resignation as when we see how ludicrous the world really is and how that won't change because people are always so busy finger pointing and enforcing their own selective empathy driven morality they never stop to actually see or experience what's actually there...nothing really ever changes because we are too busy holding others "accountable" we never take responsibility for ourselves. I'm turning my resume in to Jane. I figure everyone's lifestyle is going to kill them anyways ... Viva La Catty.<br />
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Death to the lushes? I don't mourn the "drunk girl". Im not so obtuse...I know ediez is ediez at the first shot until the last liter. Drunk just allows the public finger pointers to absolve themselves for enjoying you... They can openly support you while they hide behind the disclaimer "she is drunk so her 'bad' behavior is acceptable". Ediez you and I both know what they mean is "its okay for me to relate to and enjoy ediez out in public because she is drunk".... Now when you are 'you' people will be forced to either accept you with no disclaimer or disappear to their delusion filled world of hypocrisy.<br />
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I think your brave. I think your braver than 99% of this world.

you worded that perfectly. you "get it"

Cat marnell though the tiff with wurztel...catty magic...it was blog heaven I tell you... but noone dared comment as well they'd been shredded.

This was great to read, now I must enlighten myself on Ms. Cat. M! *muah muahz*

I'm not kissing *** here but you do seem way to sharp to be a lush, anyway. 'Cause lushes lose their sharpness eventually, if not sooner.

According to some *looks down at.....*, am still a "Lush". But thank you. =)

wow, a shout out to me?! INCREDIBLE! lmfao! still though... you cant cover up mauh facts. nice try buhg. ;D

you have yet to state any facts. take another shot

don't need to, imma sit back and watch you bury yourself trying to go against it (hence the edit and other obvious things to ME).. of course nohbody else knows... I DO THOUGH period. you cant even argue with it... and if you wanna i'll take it outside of ep like a gentlemen... for you! *takes shot*

am done taking things "outside of ep" for you. what's the point? you only lie to save yourself. Tis cute.
Since im the sober one, i'll save you now and go about my business.

lmfao! im so done, INCREDIBLE! whatevuh though, have fun playing stupid with me and trying to make me look like im bad hahahah! that's cute if you ask me. ;D

I'm adorable regardless. You can run along now. Unless you're throwing in facts then, why pick a fight? shame on you Charmy, thought you had more class than that. I guess i dont know you either.

noh reason for you to be a fu*cking crazy lil as*shole to me or is there? picking a fight with you? hahahahah! we got jokes tonight ladies and gents!

*popcorn* Man, this is entertaining.

Why the fighting? D:

it's all good i.d. emotions a *****. BUT! we are good again. ;D

I missed alot :/

you didnt miss **** except me getting irritated/pissed. people are lucky i know how to control mauhself. ;D

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....you need a drink

not at all.

sorry, im such an *******. good for you babe

i hate rich people who ***** about their lives. i hate famous actors who say their depressed. u hate hollywood..... do i hate to much?

you need yoga my dear

screw yoga i know kung fu

you had a meltdown? now you are a follower of some person.. where was i again? *takes shot*

did you even read what i wrote? i didnt have a meltdown. its about Cat's meltdown. Go away.

like i said... you are a follower now? and had a melt down? i'll leave though.. i know you can't stand mauh *** anymore.

i had a meltdown? no, i didnt. did i state i did? thats just the title of the story. because SHE had a public meltdown.
Cant stand you? dont give yourself so much credit sir.

you don't need to state anything, you make it obvious... don't forget you are easily readable to me. look here though, look how you are typing to me.. i rest mauh case.

your case has been thrown out the window darling. you dont know me. And its obvious by certain things you've said recently.
In fact, i can guess that more than half of these fukkers dont know me.

yep... you keep telling yourself that.

The number is higher than half my dear. None of us know each other....some of us would like to think we know ourselves....that is bullshit too for the most part.

sober the **** up JB. really. do NOT test my patience.

im fine actually. you are the ******* goofy one. im hardly drunk pffft!

really????? lol re read your comments.

whatevuh. i wasnt picking a fight, there you go again. being you, quick to jump on something. thanks for ******* me off btw.

@ goliath seriously the don't know each other and don't know ourselves .... Is more brilliant than brains falling out of open minds.
This is why I love you...at least the parts that I see.

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