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Found Pics of My Wife In Son's Room

Not exactly nude and of my wife not me, but ...

I'm 42, my wife is 39 and we have a 17 year son.

The other day, I was working on something and couldn't find some of my wrenches.  I thought my son may have had them in his room (as he often uses things and doesn't put them back...completely separate issue), so I went to check.  I pulled open one of his drawers and found about 300 pictures of my wife (his mom).  The pictures look to be taken with a strong zoom lens, from inside the house, while she was working in the yard and while laying out by our pool.

They were only pictures of her, not just general pictures that happened to include some of her.  It's pretty obvious that this sexual in nature, as many of the pictures were zoomed so tightly that they only showed certain parts of her body.

She is attractive, so I would assume it to be normal (and even expect) for some of his friends to have the "older woman" crush on her (my friends and I had crushes on other friend's moms growing up), but I never expected this.  I don't know what to do.

I haven't brought this up to either of them yet.  I keep thinking I want to address with him only, so she doesn't have to find out (she would be very hurt), but I'm afraid if I do that and she finds out later, it could be very bad for my marriage (trust issues, etc.).  What do I do and how do i handle this?

mizzouguy001 mizzouguy001 41-45 15 Responses Jul 5, 2009

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let your son **** his mom thats his dream let it happend man

Moron

Sounds to me like you might be a lucky guy and have a sexy wife.
If I lived next door I might be tring to get a harmless peek also

I have a (female) friend on here who is often told what to wear by her 14 year old son. Often just bra and short skirt and high heels. She knows that she could get into serious trouble for this but says she trusts her son not to tell anyone. Social Services would pounce. She tells me she gets quite turned on by this.

Remember that you were out of bounds when you found those pictures. A 17 year old man has the same right to his privacy as you do. Whatever his reasons for having pics of his mother - he may fantasize about her, he may love her in a more sensuous way, he may want to immortalize her while she doesn't look like a grandma yet - he obviously has a good grasp of the photographic medium and techniques for shooting and knows what he does. It's none of your business. You would be crucified for reading your 17-year old daughter's personal diary, and rightly so. You should forget that you've even seen those pics. And certainly not talk with him or with her about it. It's none of your business.

Encourage and support your son to find a girlfriend(s). Some activity like this occurs because the opportunity arises. Can you set up a discussion as a family about a similar situation "a friend of yours encountered"? Eg female work friend found pictures of herself taken by her daughter. that could lead to a discussion about privacy and what things you each thought should be kept private as opposed to secret. If you want to confront him - probably best in the long run - explain out of the house what happened, that it was accidental, and say you don't blame him, but want to understand what is happening for him. He breached your wife's privacy before you breached his, so don't be too worried about that. As a dad, you are responsible for raising him to be an honest and strong man who can deal with difficult conversations. Your duty is to point out to him that it's not fair(or legal) to photograph someone without consent. Be frank, let him know that you love him and don't want him to get into trouble with your wife or other women in the future. Don't promis not to tell her. I would probably tell your wife after you've dealt with it and on the basis that you've dealt with it and ask that she leave it be if possible. You're asking for her trust like you're demonstrating trust by telling her. It's about her- she has a right to know. Hopefully, she'll be partly flattered, and have a mature response, Not easy, but it's where the strength of your relationships are tested. "Following the oath of least resistance is what makes rivers and men crooked. "

you should understand that your son is after all is a growing man. You should be happy that son seem to be highly attracted towards your wife (his mom). rather than any unknown girl or women. Just imagine your wife can guide your son to a better direction by co-operating with your sons feeling. And I am sure she would not mind it.. You don:t worry....

rest .....next time.. till the time just monitor your son...

prem

I think that Fantisy is on the right track--Divert his attention a little!

But this is way more normal than you might think& quite harmless!

If you or your wife make a big deal out of this--It will not be good for him Or you relationship with him in the future!

You may not want to hear this--BUT it's fairly normal for boys to ********** thinking about mom-It IS just a phase untill he starts dateing& finds other outlets!

Mabe you& your wife might help him with his photography-- you have a little control that way!

You really shouldn't let this bother you(nor should your wife) in fact she should take this as a compliment!

wow that is a tough situation! I would talk to my son lol im only in the range of 20 but i would talk to him and ask him if he is liking women and doesnt know how to express maybe he is going through liking womens body so just sit down when your wife is working or something and talk with your son (p.s. GOOD LUCK!MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Agree with Gary457 but think it may be better if your wife was a bit more subtle. If she knows he is photographing her then set him up, let him get some snatched pictures of glimpsed underwear before 'catching' him in the act. Where it goes from there would depend on his reaction.

i think that you should convince your wife to take him into a room and show him her naked body. She could explain things to him and maybe even give him hes first ******* or *******. If he gets it from hes mum, then he wont go looking for any disease filled ****** to find satisfaction.

I also agree to your view but with a difference.... your wife should not do anything in a hurry.... she will have to give him many more chances to click photographs.... even you should give him a chance to click when you and your wife are having fun..... According to me your son is just want to learn and know how a beautiful girl or women looks like....and how they make another man happy.....

Its normal, I was like that, just give him ****** or a hooker, it ll do wonders

It's normal (dirty little devil) and easily sorted out. All you do is say: "cut out the photography of your mum, she will be upset if she finds out, find a new subject" Straight to the point so he knows that you know his antics. Say it like you are talking to another man and not a boy.

If he ask's, "where you searching in my room",,,,,,,, say no!! "I saw you one day, you didnt see me"

Leave it at that.

A 17 year old boy is hormones on legs! ha!!

It is obviious that your son is sexually attracted to your wife, his mother. It is not uncommon at all and very normal ! what to do .. well that has to be your decision. If you don't say anything then it will continue and he would not be the first son to try to seduce or have sex with his mother. If you say something to your wife, she could be hurt but could also be not hurt ... very interesting ! so how specific to sex were the pictures ? could be just an attraction, practicing photography or more, much more !

This is much like the apple in the garden of Eden.... what to do with knowledge heretofore unknown. Tough dilemma for sure... my first instinct is to tuck that knowledge safely away and carry on as if it never happened... but that's me YMMV. Good advise about seeing a professional on this deal. Hmmmm.... tough, tough, tough!