Why Cheat?

I have been pondering this question since I found out he cheated. Why cheat, can someone please explain this to me. Am I an idiot to believe that when you say you love someone, it should mean I don't want anyone else but you, I mean love should be pure and when you sleep around that purity is gone.

I have strong sexual needs but you don't see me running around f**king anything that moves, when I am with someone I just cant bring myself to do something like that bc I think of how much it would hurt them (and believe me I had a chance to sleep with one of his good friends and I really really wanted to I still think about it, but I didn't bc he is dating someone I know, and I just cant bring myself to hurt another girl like that even before I knew that my ex-fiance cheated on me).

I mean he would lie in bed next to me and cuddle with me and tell me that he loves me and cares for me and doesn't want to hurt me. He said he never wanted to be like his father, who left his mam when he was 14 and went to another woman, apparently his half brother was the same way only he just slept around a lot. I never denied him sex, ever! I came on to him! He wanted bj I would oblige him, so what the ****! He also told me that he just cant except his partner even kissing someone else, bc she is tainted and no longer pure, and it changes his opinion of her, while he obviously can do it! How can his own rule not apply to him, how is he any different! F**king looser. I don't get it, his d*ck flies up and he just has to stick it to what ever with no consideration that maybe I should not be doing this? That I am going to hurt the person that I love, and spent 6 years with, who supported me through 2 years of separation while I studied in another country. Some guilt when you lie to her face and come home to her and lie in her bed and try to make love to her. I would not be able to look the person in the eyes if I cheated. I believe there are certain things you just don't do, no matter how turned on and tempted you to **** someone, if I feel the relationship is on the rocks I try to make it work or I break up with the person.

I also started reading some of the stories by man on this website and most are married and seem to be cheating on their wives as well. Is this some kind of acceptance of how screwed up our society is, is this something that everyone silently does. I am starting to loose total faith in love and relationships, maybe if I am in a relationship I should give in to my urges bc the guy I would be with is doing the same thing. Maybe I should become a total ***** and think only of myself and what I want. Ah I am just so angry.
angellllll angellllll
22-25, F
4 Responses May 8, 2012

time heals almost all wounds.

you are not stupid he is your the person.....ok hun keep your head up..

6 years. So sorry. Why: most guys just don't think. More specifically, they don't think the same way you do. What about that ***** ex friend of yours? They still together or did she cheat on him?

i don't know who it was....i think that is the worst part, not knowing

Here is a lesson in human biology. Men are walking dna depositories. The goal of any male, whether he gives in or not, is to spread his genetic material as wide as possible thus ensuring and providing greater chances of survival for his offspring. Women are walking dna repositories. It is the instinctual goal of a woman, whether she gives in or not, to seek out strong males with potent dna to ensure the survival of her offspring. Our species did not evolve to strict pair bonding. That is a social construct. We have no biological imperative to remain with a single mate for life. It is sad that your mate decided to cheat on you, but he was following a biological imperative. This doesn't give him a free pass as the two of you had a social agreement about the exclusive status of your relationship.

I am well aware of human biology, but what it comes down to is choice. And he has made his choice very clear because I can never trust him again. And as I have said above his view of this is very one sided, that if I slept with someone else I would become tarnished, no longer as interesting. I know that there are couples who share and like it, I personally think its all goes down the hill from there.

Such is your choice. Personally I find the thought of one lover for the rest of my life to be a prison sentence far too boring to serve out.