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New Here But This Is My Story

I am a 31-year-old male who wears Baby Diapers. I started wearing diapers when I was a child even after being potty trained. I would sneak wearing them to bed and even wear them to school from time to time. I was able to hide it from my parents by reusing the diapers, the diapers that were suppose to be for my cabbage patch kid. At night when I went to bed, I would wear the diaper instead of my cabbage patch kid. As I got older I would just hide the diapers and when I would visit family we would go shopping and I would lie to them on why I needed more diapers, but they got them for me anyway. I originally lived in upstate NY, but when I moved to GA when I turned 18 I was now an adult and could do what I wanted. I got married when I was 19, that lasted under a year and I found myself divorced but not because I was wearing diapers, she chose drugs over being married. Then I bounced in and out of relationships, some that new what I did and some that didn't. I then met a woman who was a lot older then me, she could have been my mother. We were together for 7 years. She accepted the fact that I wore diapers, it actually made her horny the fact that I did. At that time I was also battling a gender identity battle. I was battling whether I was born the wrong gender. Since the age of 11 I also started wearing bras and panties and really enjoyed cross dressing and being a female when role playing, but still maintained only being interested in females. I started going threw gender re-assignment, taking hormones, and trying to live life as a female. Things got rocky, our relationship ended but we maintained a friendship and then I met the woman of my dreams. She helped me to realize that what I was doing was for all the wrong reasons and helped me to figure out that if I was to go through with the surgery, I wouldn't be happy because it wasn't going to fix me. As a friend, I confided in her but held back a lot of things about me because I liked her and was scared that she would think I was a nut case or a predator because she has 4 children with one being in diapers still. Finally I broke down and told her how I felt but I needed her to know something about me..... That I wear diapers and panties. She didn't run away. We talked about it and even though she didn't understand why, she was okay about it. We continued to talk and started a relationship. As things progressed, one night it hit her why I was wearing diapers, it is a security issue and a need to be loved. From that moment on she was more than okay with it, she and I started a stronger bond, as she would let me breast feed at night, to sucking on a pacifier, to feeding me a bottle and gradually to changing my diapers. Occasionally she would give me a bath and really baby me especially when the children’s father would have visitation. The children were in the dark about everything, knowing that they would not understand. Then one morning when my fiancé got up to get the kids ready for school, I stayed sleeping in bed and she brought our daughter in our room to get something for her, I rolled over and the cover shifted, she saw daddy in a Pamper......."Daddy wears diapers?" was all she could say and then laughed. Her mom told her yes and that she needed to be quiet about it and we would explain it to her later. When I woke up her mom and I talked about it and decided that we needed to tell them because we will never lie to our children. So at dinnertime we explained to the children, they were fine okay it, they loved me for me.
             One night I was messing around with my fiancé and I took warm water and put it in my diaper and made it look and felt like I pee'd in it. I told her I had an accident and to my surprise she was okay with it and told me okay baby lets go get that diaper changed and get you cleaned up. She started to mommy me more and that is so comforting. We talked about it and she told me that if I pee pee'd in my diaper that she was okay with it and she would change me and clean me up, the only thing she couldn't handle is if I had a poopoo accident in my diaper. I can't blame her on that one. Up until that point I had never used my diaper to pee in, and let me tell you I love it now, especially knowing I have that bonding time with my mommy. I recently made my own adult size onesies and one piece pajama. She will get me ready for bed, sometimes we do a passy, sometimes we do a bottle of warm milk, and sometimes I just suck on her breasts. She will rub me down in baby lotion and I feel and smell like a baby, put me in my onesie and I sleep like a baby with my mommy. Our relationship is one that I hope all couples could experience, we are so close and get closer every day. She really does complete me and comforts me with all of my differences of a typical guy.
            Me personally I prefer to wear baby style diapers, the only problem is the largest size is size 6 in most diapers. I really miss the old style Pampers Baby-Dry, the ones with the plastic outside. I wear everything from store brands to Huggies, Huggies Overnites, Pampers BabyDry, Pampers Cruisers, and Luvs. Pampers Cruisers come in size 7 so they fit better, the problem with wearing baby diapers is that you have to watch how fast and how much you pee, they fill up quickly, and don't absorb the pee too quickly but I still prefer them over adult pampers. I have used elastic to make my own straps so I can wear them just like a baby with cutting off the velcro ends of old diapers and sewing them onto the elastic so they fasten. The onesies i have made have the snaps on the bottom just like a baby’s onesie and I made them out of a velour type material that is so soft and comfortable with cute prints on them.
              I just wonder if there are really people out there like me that I am really not alone with what I do? Am I the only one that gets turned on by the way a fresh clean diaper smells? The way that baby lotion and baby powder smells is erotic to me, am I the only one? When my Mommy changes my pee pee diaper I am so horny and turned on, Am I the only one that goes through that? What other suggestions would people have to help my Mommy and I have more quality Mommy/Son time since we have four children with us at all times (their father is a piece of crap that doesn't spend time with them anymore)? Any questions or suggestions are more then welcome as I am open about everything.
Thank you all for reading and commenting.
deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jan 21, 2011

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I prefer them to but I can't get then because my dad would ripp my head off and the rest of my family would pretty much have a heart attack atleast I think so but I'm just to scared to tell anyone but a couple of people online and secretly on blogs I want to tell my family but sigh I just can't idk why but I am just way to embarrised and scared that they won't love me anymore I think the reason I want to wear them ever since I was 5-6 is because I never had a loving caring mother so I never had a very good childhood :l idk but I'm just way to embarrised and depressed and stressed over that I'm 13 and I like diapers that are for baby's

I am so happy that you found someone to care for you as the baby you are. That is very special. And I agree with the need to tell the other children, being open and honest is the only way to go.