Not Really Paranoid, I Think. I Can Still Obsess Over Issues, Though . . .

. . . and perhaps that's normal?  Or maybe not?  Thinking too much about anything isn't really good, I guess. 

I used to worry myself into tizzies over anything, though a lot of my worries focussed on my popularity, or lack thereof, whether I was doing the 'right' thing for me and everyone around me, or whether I was fit enough -- get thee back to the gym, boy!  It got  to the point where I developed stomach ulcers by the time I was 18.  I hated those barium x-rays, though, which was a good enough reason for me to train my mind to cool off a bit. 

I can still obsess over something too much, until the issue is worn ragged in my head and I'm weary from the effort.  It doesn't happen too much.  I use Prozac to keep my mood in check these days.  I'm way more up-and-down without it.  My latest 'issue,' although I suppose it's lingered in the back of my mind for years, is my need to be aloof around women.  That way, they won't end up thinking I'm just another typical male fool/nincompoop/numb-skull, who only thinks with his testes.  Why I imagine all women would think that about me, first and foremost, is beyond me -- except that there's probably a tiny part of me that is exactly like that, much as I don't want to admit it.  I read too much bad news, I guess, and am haunted by memories of watching guys getting chewed up then spit out on the Phil Donahue show.

Part of the reason I'm here is just because the name of this category was too cool to pass up.  It does describe my obsessive thinking a bit, although I don't think I've ever really been 'paranoid.'
UnderEli UnderEli
46-50, M
2 Responses Jul 28, 2010

Sometimes it seems like the lesser of two evils. I'm more spontaneous and energetic without the medication. I function so much better, day-in and day-out, when I stay on them. Better focus and way less off-the-wall. Thanks again for your input, and for sharing your own situation. So often I feel like I'm the only one who needs to use these to be 'normal.'

Yes, I agree. And most of time I am just myself, and am fine with that. When I have too much time to think these things start to swirl in my head. Thank-you for the perspective.